Kamis, 08 Desember 2016

funny 2017

[title]

tonight...true film's christmas special 2016 ♪ starring disneyland's banjo virtuoso doug mattocks comedian dick hardwick jay potter as the disgruntled north pole employee "velvet pianist" jon england with breathtaking renditions of classic holiday songs. benjamin arsenault as the good worker elf sara marie as glenda from mrs. claus' executive staff

teon kelley doing a multi-part performance of a christmas classic and a surprise appearance by someone we all know and love during the holidays. i'm your host bob schmidt enjoy christmas forwards and sideways and upside down. in the woods and in the city and with more snow than you can shovel. on our christmas special 2016 [wind blowing] [footsteps in snow approaching]

hello, i am glenda i am mrs. claus' executive assistant, recently promoted to supervisor of the elf workshop. now, without further adieu i would like to introduce the one ... the only ... mr. claus! the one, and only ... ho. ho. ho. [splat]

you're not santa! yes i am! i work with you! well, i'm santa now [beep] what are you doing here? he's gone! i'm filling in. what do you mean he's gone? gone where? he's done.

he's left us. he's left us all. he's gone! [teeth chattering] what do you mean, what happened? i have to text mrs. claus. oh, you want to know what happened? i'll tell you what happened. he's, he's given up. he's done. he's tired of all the [beep]. all the people killing other people.

cheating other people. look at the news! this world's gone to [beep]. [beep] despicable! what about christmas morning? i mean... you can't fit down the chimney! yes i can. here's santa! merry christmas!

ho. ho. [beep] ♪ the city can be nice during the holidays, with all the lights and the magic... but let's take you to colorado where our friend dick hardwick has his own unique take on the classic poem... over the river and through the woods hey this is dick hardwick and my old buddy doug mattocks here and

we were just reminiscing about christmas of long time ago. i mean even when we were kids it seemed more "christmasy" than it does now-a-days with all the... well, you know they start selling christmas products at around... i think fourth of july don't they? [laughs] you know it used to be over the river and ... through the woods to grandmother's house we go?

now-a-days it would be more like... [banjo playing] [hums out of tune] ♪ohhh ... down the turnpike♪ ♪and through the toll gate♪ ♪to step-grandmother's house we go.♪ ♪we'll eat frozen turkey and some bubba's beef jerky♪ ♪and some french's instant mashed potatoes♪ ♪ohhhhhhh♪

♪yes...♪ ♪over the speedbump♪ ♪and past the guard gate♪ ♪parked next to that pink flamingo♪ [♪banjo strums♪] ♪and grandma will heat up dinner♪ ♪in the microwave♪ ♪not in the...♪ ♪stove.♪

[♪banjo strums♪] ♪ohhhhh♪ happy holidays everybody! [laughter] jon england has been compared to a modern-day liberace. a master pianist. he brings his amazing talent to thisclassic christmas tune. ♪♪♪ ♪♪♪ [crescendo]

♪♪ [we wish you a merry christmas] [♪trumpets flourish♪] [announcer] coming up next... 'twas the night before christms like you've never seen it. with me, bob schmidt and later, disneyland's doug mattocks strums the classic o holy night on his 5-string banjo. ♪[oh christmas tree]♪ welcome back to ourchrismas special

[announcer] i'd like to tell you a tale deep in the woods. on the most magical night of them all. [footsteps in snow] ♪ 'twas the night before christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that saint nicholas soon would be there. the children were nestled all snug in their beds,

while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads. and mamma in her ‘kerchief, and i in my cap, had just settled our brains for a long winter nap. [fire crackling] [winter wind] when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, i sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. [sound of window opening] away to the window i flew like a flash,

tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. the moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below. when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer. with a little old driver, so lively and quick, i knew in a moment it must be st nick. more rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"now, dasher! now, dancer! now, prancer and vixen! on, comet! on, cupid! on, donner and blitzen! to the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" [♪music builds♪] as dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky. so up to the house-top the coursers they flew, with the sleigh full of toys, and saint nicholas too.

and then, in a twinkling, i heard on the roof the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. as i drew in my head, and was turning around, down the chimney st nicholas came with a bound. [twinkling bells] he was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. a bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

his eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! his cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! his droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard of his chin was as white as the snow. the stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. he had a broad face and a little round belly, that shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly! he was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

and i laughed when i saw him, in spite of myself! a wink of his eye and a twist of his head, soon gave me to know i had nothing to dread. he spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk. and laying his finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose! he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, and away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

but i heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, "merry christmas to all, and to all a good-night!" [announcer] now jump in your sleigh and head up the hills toward the north pole, where santa is m.i.a. [foot tapping] [screams] you're a horrible santa! you're supposed to befull of holiday joy and cheer.

i'm taking [beep] liberties. this is empty? the kids need presents for christmas. oh you want [beep] presents? okay. all right. how 'bout ... here's some good presents. life lessons! huh? just don't be a [beep] that's just a general rule.

how 'bout you don't judge people by the way they look or the color of their hair or their sexual orientation? it's a free [beep] world okay? maybe not. but it's a... [slap] just nice. be nice. [beep]

what the [beep] are you doing? [laughs] i... am texting mrs. claus you are a horrendous santa. you are scarcastic, bitter, angry, lonely, pitiful, you have to be good! a good santa! [sigh] we'll practice. now...

sit. sit! [crunching bones] ow! my [bleep] gout! does he really need to [bleep] sit here? yes. you are a boy at a mall seeing santa now, tell him what you would like for christmas.

i want a toy cart and a race car and some wooden blocks [smack] no. you know what you're gonna [beep] get? you're gonna get some... here's some integrity. yeah. chew on that. how 'bout some common decency? yeah, it tastes good doesn't it?

how about some [beep] love for your [beep] fellow man? you can't play with any of those! you know what? you're a [beep] [beep] [beep} materialistic little [beep]! all right. that's all fine. but, the key about santa is you have to smile. all right? now... [skin stretching] [grunting]

oww [beep] you're worse than my ex-wives! you're not trying! just smile! you want me to smile? give me some [beep] whiskey that will make me smile! did you just fart? [announcer] coming up next on true-film's christmas special 2016... a breathtaking performance of o holy night by classic banjo player doug mattocks

and... there's a rumor up north. welcome back. few modern performers understand the subtle intricacies of the banjo the way that virtuoso doug mattocks does. by all accounts he's one of the best banjo players alive. you may be more accustomed to the four string variety, but you'll notice the fifth string on doug's banjo in this classic performance. [♪o holy night played on banjo♪] ♪we heard it on banjo

o holy night is achristmas classic that deserves to be revisited. this time jon england performs on a grand piano. ♪[o holy night]♪ [announcer] the warmth of a fireplace is soothing on christmas. unless of course, you're an elf at the north pole texting on your cell phone. ♪ [footsteps] you're still santa?

you're [beep] right i am! i'm picking up all of your work back at the shop! did you get my text message? no. i'm an elf. i don't have a cell phone. you're fired. he's back! he's... he's.. he's really back? yes. santa claushas returned! [stutters] what about the reindeer?

they're fine. the sleigh? he upgraded. it's an e-sleigh now. what about the toys? [in unison] he's got toys. i like toys. well, back to work. you're not fired.

see ya at the cubicle. merry christmas... [announcer]dick hardwickand doug mattocks are back incolorado for dick'sslightly twistedvariation on a holiday tale. ♪ hi! this is dick hardwickand my old buddy doug mattocks

and the night beforechristmas, sideways. 'twas the crisp beforenightmas when thehouse through the all not a stir was creepingmouse even a not. the chims hungby stocking with nair with nickle tospare would soonbe hopeless. ♪[snare drum]♪ then out on the lawnunder the mistletoe someone wasplaying thatold banjo. ♪[banjo strums]♪

then appeared tomy stumbling eyedid i wander but a sly anda tenderand eight mighty reign. well, my quickold liverso drively and little. it knew in a nickit must be saint moan. 'cause the wallto the top to the porchto the top as the wild flydry leavesbefore the owl a moon stack of sky. to the mountas i heard witha twink, the poofingand rantingof each mighty paw.

♪♪ well i rounded my turn,i heaped a drew. down the bowncame saint chimwith a nick of me. [ha]he had a drewlittle rumpround up like a bow. the chief of a stumpheld tight in his pipe. he had a belliedfaceand a roundlittle broad. he was eltingand jole.a right rump chub. he worked to his fraughthe was straightto his word. filled his jerky,quinked andstop me not.

when we gavea chim and a whip.and they allwent away with the flu. [cough] but, i heard himexclaim out of drone, chrissy happensto alland to goodan all night. good night! to all a good night. good night. ♪ coming up, we take you to snowy new york city,

and later, a surprise appearance on our 2016 holiday special. [announcer] welcome back. and now we take you to snowy new york city for the first noel sung a cappella in the park by teon kelley ♪noel, noel♪ [harmony]

♪born is the king of isreal♪ ♪the first noel, the angels did say♪ ♪was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they la♪ ♪in fields where they lay keeping their sheep♪ ♪on a cold winter's night that was so deep♪ ♪noel, noel, noel, noel♪ ♪born is the king of israel!♪ ♪they looked up and saw a star♪ ♪shining in the east beyond them far♪

♪and to the earth it gave grea♪ ♪and so it continued both day and night♪ jon england's velvet piano style is perfect for the holidays [horse breathes heavily] ♪ welcome back to true-film's 2016 christmas special we've taken you throughthe woods and through the city, but no matter where you are, you can still feel the spirit of christmas magic in the air. and now, back to the north pole just in time for the big day.

[♪ harmonica playing jingle bells♪] santa? [harmonica] santa? look at the way i'm dressed [laughs] who else would it be? where's your beard? i didn't reckognize you. oh, i'm the new president for the beard club for men i shaved it off until we start delivering presents. because i've been on hiatus as they say.

but everyone's been waiting to start delivering presents they've been in their cubicles looking all over the internet non-stop for you. well, i've been down at the bar at pico and sepulveda you guys out to join me once some time. you know, you're a little uptight these days. no but we've been trying to start christmas we don't even have all the toys ready. what is this?

these are toys that i was going to show you because we used to deliver these many, many years ago you see, this bell tree right here [bells cascade] was made back in the 1700's and these cymbols, [cymbol crash] all hand made people worked their hands to the bone to the knuckles alone.

and there's just one thing i want you guys to know i want to come back, i want a reprieve and i'll bring presents to you and all the boys and girls if you do one thing. pull my finger. [fart noise from mouth] [laughter] i still got it, man!

[bell cascade] [elf feet running away] [chamber door closes] [announcer] thank you for watching true-film's 2016 christmas special. don't forget to check out our super-cool vr 360 bonus videos on this channel. you can watch on your youtube ap or desktop computer without any special hardware. please check out the hundreds of other selections from richard arsenault's wide-ranging shows from hollywood.

and don't forget to listen to me bob schmidt streaming on-line at todaystalk1490.com or if you're ever in la crosse wisconsin catch it live on the radio at 1490 wlfn also visit me on my website at bswithbob.com here's wishing you and your family a very merry christmas and a happy new year

Rabu, 07 Desember 2016

funny 2017 senior shirts

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october "yes, it was in october 1985that i joined the police force" it is 19 years "although being a special officer, my lifepassed away more worse than a constable." "in 1994, i was transferredto the special force...by ig dharam pal" i took off the uniformand my gun started speaking up "ever since, i have become oneamong the underworld hitlist." "i agree, you have a nice flat" but your party's askingfor a lot of money

"just give him a bit of advance, rafiq.- that i will" talk it over with him. i will come andsign the papers tomorrow if he wishes nothing is happening. relax i thought you were about tobump me off "sir, are you here tobump me off?" "if i had to do that,i would have done it by now" you have been called over.to talk it over eat some?- tobacco in my mouth when did you come to nashik?- two days ago

why has the acp called meto mumbai? how would i know? as if he will tell me whatbusiness he has with you "he asked me to bring you along,so i am doing that" i do what my seniorstell me to do "yes, sir...?" we will be there ina couple of hours "yes, sir... i have stopped nearby for a cup of tea" "very well, sir"

"you read about salman, sir?" have you read aboutsalman and vivek? yes what do you think?who is going to have aishwarya finally? what brains! we need to ask aishwarya "your wife is away at her mother's,so you can have all the fun, right?" "oh come on, sir.- you have a girlfriend, do you not?" "no, sir"

really? who is the one in thered light district? has she become ex? "i have two of them there, sir.first class items" i mean it. first class write down a report on the mumbai national highwaythis afternoon... in an encounter between themumbai police and the underworld... the dreaded gangster rafiq sulemanwas killed

the mumbai police were on the look outfor rafiq for a long time rafiq suleman is accused of murdering mlapatwardhan. and a case is registered on him. it is reported that rafiq suleman workedfor underworld don zameer zafar zameer zafar is on police wanted list. don is also known as zameer's right hand. "in the last two months, crime branch officer sadhuakash has targetted that gang and attacked it." the press has come to label yourdepartment as the police underworld "what can be done, sir?" if we take rafiq without eyewitness to thecourt, he would be released.

he would kill more people. if killing a criminal can save thelives of many innocents... what is the problem?- maybe true but in present situation,because of your crime branch.... the reputation of the entire policedepartment is getting tarnished. not fair sir. they are also well aware that it isbecause of this department... that the city of mumbaihas some peace that is true too is it not the same officer...?- sadhu. sadhu akash

sadhu is becoming a hero nowadays congratulations sir. - thankyou. - how many including rafiq? i think 50 all together. i do not keep a count "why did you not involve your immediatejunior officer in the operation, sir?" who is responsible herein my absence? so... hey francis... rafiq's sister lives in bhiwandi.make sure you inform her

"give me a cigarette, will you?" jahangir.he is coming to bhayandar sir when?- at seven "which asshole informed you?- no... it is confirmed news, sir" may i go? "go, if you wish to waste your time" "why, sir?" jahangir's in amravati right now.i have received word "maybe your information is wrongand mine is right, sir"

has that ever happened before? "you need not go anywhere. follow upthe earlier cases, go on" there is just one manwho works here i come here only to sayhello and hi what does he think? but why do you accompany him? "now look, i do not want to get intothis mess between you and him" "i just want to go home,watch tv, watch my wife...""now look, i do not want to get intothis mess between you and him" "i just want to go home,watch tv, watch my wife..."

and go to sleep. i am not fond ofseeing my photo in the papers..."i just want to go home,watch tv, watch my wife..." and go to sleep. i am not fond ofseeing my photo in the papers... and raising the count.you guys can do all that francis imtiaz - sir. that case of dombivali...?follow it up i think the information is right take a few constables with you hey narayan... give that cover to him.

tired? sure? let us go he is doing me a favourby giving me some work "you have another entry in thered diary, right? that is it" i do not want to go to zameer's place.he keeps asking me about father i have never asked him questionsabout his daddy hello have you boiled the lentilsand the drumsticks?

and some tamarind pulp too?all right now mix everything and add two spoonsof the sambar powder i gave youand some tamarind pulp too?all right now mix everything and add two spoonsof the sambar powder i gave you mix everything together and useclarified butter for the seasoning "that is the thing you must use.add mustard, fenugreek seeds..." and... what is kaayam called?- asafoetida do not forget curry leavesand coriander seeds add some asafoetida toodo not forget curry leavesand coriander seeds add some asafoetida too

make a paste of all thatand give me a call "and send us some too!- no, nothing..." aman... why are you doing? why are you doing? want some pickle? i want an answer tothe question i asked what answer? yes my boy - "father, do you know how many bulletsan ak47 magazine has?" you have been messing around with my bag?- no... it is what this book says

have you got your progress card?- yes go and bring it i will be ready in two minutes this is why i never drop you.- but you are not ready either how much time will it take meto wear a shirt? "all right, i will wear a sariand come soon" "by the time you drape the sari,i will be in my office" pimp! i will makean eunuch out of you! i know what tribe bloody copsbelong to

"now let us not talkabout tribes, okay?" high on opium already?"now let us not talkabout tribes, okay?" high on opium already? ask your mother who isactually your fatherhigh on opium already? ask your mother who isactually your father she must not even remember the name.- do not brag too much! "i do not listen tobragging either, asshole" why are you using obscene language?- so you talk to him... "talk to my wife, a teacher.she will make you see reason"

what sort of an asshole are you?what...? "now listen, i will pay you doublethe amount rajshekhar's paying you" but stop killing my people"now listen, i will pay you doublethe amount rajshekhar's paying you" but stop killing my people "else, i would not let youlive in mumbai!" you are sitting with your tail betweenyour legs and you are threatening me? you are going to throw me out of mumbai?you have the balls to do that? hey zameer... you must not havea gang of more than 100 guys.you are going to throw me out of mumbai?you have the balls to do that? hey zameer... you must not havea gang of more than 100 guys.

"and i have a gang of 40,000 cops" you would not even knowwhen you are bumped off and what did you say?i am on rajshekhar's payroll? "i have killed many of his men.and also killed osman's men, okay?" asshole! no one gets toact smart with me "we have got to take a left!- because of this asshole, i forgot" what have you forgotten?you are telling me everything "i am talking to my wife, not you.hold on" i will take a left ahead.so then?

"hot headed guy, are you?" i will plant rdx and blow you up! how many guys have you personallykilled till today? tell me "two, five, ten...?" i have bumped off more than 50 already.you get that...? catch a plane and come over.i will bump you off at the airport!i have bumped off more than 50 already.you get that...? catch a plane and come over.i will bump you off at the airport! why sit there and talk to melike a bloody eunuch? this left

"hold on, zameer" want me to pick you up this evening?- no thanks i have heard enough already.bye speak why must you take all the tension?- what tension? the government pays meto use the gunwhy must you take all the tension?- what tension? the government pays meto use the gun "and when i bump off guys like you,i get a medal" no tension for me.and know what...?

you are the filth of societyand i am its sweeper "the job is not very pleasant,but one has to do it" "what you say is right, sadhu saheb" "saheb...? i was a pimp a littlewhile ago, now i have become saheb?" "there are not many peoplei address as "saheb""saheb...? i was a pimp a littlewhile ago, now i have become saheb?" "there are not many peoplei address as "saheb" "let us skip the bullshit...- oh come on, sadhu saheb" you must think of me too...- think what? stop playing a gangster andi will stop firing my gun

how much are you going tomake me spend on the mobile? "mine is not illegal moneylike yours, okay?" "it is government money.- very well, sadhu saheb..." the match is about to begin...are you watching it? i have a live match goingwith your players "all right, sadhu saheb.i will phone you later" "phone me or do not,makes no difference to me" got afraid! what did he have to say?- what could he say?

what could he say to me? but what he saysis right too "and even if it was not right,we could not sit idly" i only asked about feroz.and he shat in his pants he thought i had gone thereto split his brains and he opened fire i had to open fire too "no problems in thepost-mortem, i hope?" no

i shot him from four feet away in his chest?- yes "no carbon deposits, i hope?- no, no... no tension" i have set everything right that is 41 make an entry in the records "narayan, switch on the tv.the match has started" where will i findinspector sadhu akash? what work is it?- i have got to take over charge

so you are jatin shukla? - yes sir. "from your face, you appear to bea hero of tv soaps" sit "you are sub inspector imtiyaz siddiqui,are you not?" when have we met?- we have not i have seen your picturesin the newspapers you are fond of encounters too? or are you here toplay the hero? where were you posted earlier?- in juhu

did the dogs chase you there? that is the localityfor the rich "when the dogs bark at night,they telephone the police..." to drive away the dogs. and thepolice get busy driving them away who is there? - go. your name?- jatin shukla "you have not a father?- i do, sir. in the village" so what is the full name?- jatin janardhan shukla "married?- no, sir"

asshole girl friend? - i have a fiancee - fiancee! how do you spell fiancee? fiancee. "was that right, francis?" i do not think they will scoremore than 250 have a word with your bookie. call him.-shall i call them? - yeah.i do not think they will scoremore than 250 have a word with your bookie. call him.-shall i call them? - yeah. what is a circle inspector's job?

to keep criminals of theunderworld under control not under control... to shoot them.no control "i know, sir.- so why did you not tell me?" "no telling, sir.i will prove it" "sit, sit down" he would not pick up the phone.- he would not this match is not fixed.we are going to win "ever thrashed someone in the lock up?- several times, sir" did you ever think whether whatyou did was right or wrong...?

"if i began to think,how would i do it?" "yes, sir. i will be there" in our department we kill only two things. when we get information,we kill criminals. when we do not have information, we kill time. do not get restless, be patient. - yes sir. ever cut a chicken? and seenit suffering in your hands? can you look the criminalin the eye... hold the pistol to his foreheadand shoot? you will shit in your pants

i will shoot sir "but it is not easy, let me see." "that two billion i have invested,is all going to go down the drain" nothing is going to happen. you willstill drive around in a mercedes..."that two billion i have invested,is all going to go down the drain" nothing is going to happen. you willstill drive around in a mercedes... go and watch cricket matchesin chartered flights... i cannot go to sleep in the night may i come in sir? sadhu. since when have you startedasking for permission?

"wadia, the industrialist.borrowed 6 billion, you know?" hello sir - sadhu - nice meeting you. two minutes. keep this "use your methods for investigation,but i want quick results" sadhu... how is aman's hand? it is okay so long asit is in the plaster... when it is out,i will break it again is vinod-bhai there?- who are you?

"whoever, i want to talkto vinod-bhai. is he there?" vinod-bhai is not in.- where has he gone? "he is gone out.- i got to give him a message, madam" where are you calling from?- from dubai. can you give him a message?- what message? i will give you a telephone number you just said 00...- add 971 after that! 971 or 991 ?- 971 and 991 ! but you just said...- listen! take down the number!

009719915016780 "it is such a long number.can you repeat it, sir?" to hell with you! justgive him the number... and ask him to talkto zameer-bhai tomorrow what do you say? where was the call made from? dubai my son... it is aninternational card buy a sim card in dubai andmake the call from mumbai

hey francis... rewind the tape "enough, play it" ask him to talk to zameer-bhaior we are going to shoot him... he killed someone 4 months ago, theyhave plotted against him to kill him. tell him this urgently. that murder of shetty...there were three guys involved "sawant bumped off two of them." who was the third in dahisar?- damodar? not damodar "francis, he killed kishore andshabbir from ghatkopar..."

and killed guddu and took narayan from dharavi. who was it...? yede... yedwadkar vilas sir...- what? "sir, i..." "guddu...- yes, guddu. come on" no one falls into your handsjust like that so the ones you suspect...

as the culprit is not known, so wehave to try once more. "by the way, this chap vilas happensto be zameer's very special man" "have you arrested himeven earlier, sir?" a couple of times but i could not get much information.let us see this time you will lead...? "will you lead...?- i will, sir" i will cover you.here you are take a right from ahead

where does vilas live?- number 11 what is it?- vilas...? yes?- open the door who the hell are you?- cop. let us go wait a moment. i will take a bath.- bathe in the police station. come on! sadhu saheb! why do you keeppicking me up all the time? go on inside... go "i thought someone was aboutto shoot, so i..." you know whom you have just shot?

he was on the run for eight years. it is him. he is more dangerous thanthe thug lying outside. he is caught after so long. he is still alive. should wetake him to the hospital? are you crazy? bump him off you have been anointed today.you have opened an account how does it feel?- it feels as if... "i have done something formy society, my country, sir" "do not give me this bullshit!society, country...!" nothing of that is true.do not tell all that with me.

"no, sir...- that is the way it is" "till we are alive, we do not remember anythinglike people and society." nothing such as country, for us life is important. nothing wrong in it.that is how i thought earlier too leave society and the stuffto the politicians come over for dinner tonight bring that girlfriend of yours.what is her name...? vaishali.- what...? - vaishali. what kind of people are you?

that is not the way to pronounce it.say v-a-i-s-h-a-l-i ! "yes, bring her along too" "my wife, nameeta" jatin - vaishali. what time is it...? it is okay. come on inside- be comfortable, come on yaar. make your drink and make for me also. are you working? i am a graphics designer

really? a course on graphic designinghas just been started in our college i have no knowledge of it.i teach political science for the last ten years.- 10 years...? i did not know you could cook only sambar. it is no big deal boil drumsticks and lentilsto a whistle in a pressure cooker "take it off the stove, add tamarindpulp, two spoons of sambar masala..." and the seasoning.with clarified butter no oil. that is no fun

"in the seasoning add fenugreek seeds,curry leaves, mustard..." and coriander.and kaayam kaayam.- kaayam nammo... what do we call kaayam? what?- what do we call kaayam? asafoetida.- asafoetida. nice flavour he is showing off.i have cooked everything already "we have sambar for breakfast,sambar for lunch and sambar for dinner" do you live together?

how many years is it now? well... four years how is the smell? - very nice - nice? come on what are you doing there...?come and join us i will help you do not worry. "i have not threatened anyoneover the phone, sir" i know so why have you brought me here?

had i not picked you up... how would his picture appearon the front pages tomorrow? "whose picture, sir?" jatin congratulations. so even you had opened account right. very good jatin, you had opened an account.- thank you. welcome, mr jatin shukla, on the veryfirst day you had tasted blood? there were just two of them?- yes were you led by sadhu sir...?- no

then?- he asked me to take the lead wow! two wickets inyour very first over! what good job? what good job? is this the way? it was his very first day andhe was thrust into it against a dreaded gangster "what if he had got killed?- but he eventually killed, right?" he was plain lucky! he killed and returned. does he have any experience yet?

but sadhu sir ought to havegiven it a thought who is responsible for ajunior officer's safety? "it is the senior officer.- stop it now, imtiaz?" no! how can this department work if anyoneacts at his whims and fancies? now tell me something senior officers like you and mewere sidestepped... and the life of a young boywas put at stake "let him at least be trained first.i agree, he is a brave boy. but..."

go on. i will join you "imtiaz, come here" "what problem do you have with me?- nothing, sir" but you do you think i have bumped offmore guys than you have... the press writes more about meand my photos get published you are still not able to understand this. "you were sent to bump off aslam,and you shot shaikh" "you shot lulla.- now, sir..."

it is because of the natureof our work... that the confusion takes place and i am not the first human beingwho has made a mistake the truth is that you wantto raise your count you have grown fond of adding namesto your red diary you make wrong use of your powers... and an enquiry is conductedon the entire department now look, you and i know it.one day we both would also die. but it is more necessary to get ridof being killed.

"one of these days,i am going to bump you off" it is time you started playing... "or you would not even realise when yougrew old, firing away at them" "there is time for that, sir" that is exactly how i usedto think too "when my hair grayed,when my children grew up..." and when my time to retirehad arrived... i did not get to know your new joint commissionerof police has arrived

i would be free of hassels. what do you think? how will things progressif you go away? how did they progress earlier? i would like to bring about a changein certain things an improvement is necessaryin certain areas many people are unhappy aboutthe working of the crime branch several social workers andhuman rights organisations... have filed petitions in court.your comments? the police have evidence...

that this was done atthe behest of the underworldthe police have evidence... that this was done atthe behest of the underworld the underworld keep getting them tofile petitions on their behalf they are under pressure from theunderworld and they have succumbed why is it that only the gangsters diein the battle between them and the police? it is actually very sad... that the media publishes news ofa gangster on the front-pages "and if it happens to be a policeman,it is buried in the inside pages" like a footnote

"obviously, the press has to decidehow to sell their newspapers" "sir, i have another question" would you wish to reopen the file ofthe shootout that took place in 1997? "what will you sayin this regard, sir?" congrats sir - thank you very much. imtiyaz...? "right, sir. i am imtiyaz" "i am okay, sir.how are you doing?" "looks like they are old acquaintances.- yes, maybe"

but the bastard never mentioned it.- what difference would that make? you would still be eating a samosa "let me introduce you tothe rest of them, sir" people of my department"let me introduce you tothe rest of them, sir" "this is jatin, francis,narayan..." and you surely know him. sadhu who does not know him...?sadhu akash! the press has madea hero out of you the press can make anythingout of anyone

i am glad too, that you know. there are cases against you "two have been withdrawn, sir" it is not a question of the casesbeing withdrawn or not the question is: why have casesbeen filed against an inspector? actually...- no explanation. when a case is filed againsta police officer... in the state assembly, they keepstripping the police department... for two whole months

how can you be so irresponsible?it should not happen. sir knows everything obviously. he is the senior "sir, mr suchak wants to see you" i have a very simple philosophy "he who does not deliver results,should not be part of the team" "after all, it is the duty ofthe junior officers..." to give their senior officersall their cooperation...without any questions. understand - sir - ok.

what you think of meor suchak... "or what suchak thinks of you and me,makes no difference to the department" sadhu do not forget. the world existed before us andit will still be there when we are dead. do not worry. why is imtiyaz sir...? "i mean, he is very bitter" maybe he does not have avery nice opinion about you "that is just what i told my wife,but she does not agree" what difference does the opinionof one man make anyway? if he is close toyour senior officer...

"a lot could happen, sir" "you have grown thewisdom tooth, already?" these senior officersare like the weather they keep changing with time i worked sincerely for mr pradhanfor several years he was a good human being i will work with the samesincerity for suchak... and let us see what sortof a man he is? what do you think? imtiyaz islikely to speak against me?

"it is very likely, sir.- he will speak only against me" it is difficult to straighten a dog's tail. what have i got to lose? what...? not one it is 4 cars. he mentionedyour name so we kept him like that. i wanted to tell that sir had arrived.... how many cars? - six - not four, it issix cars. - six?" yes. do not register the case

but the case hasalready been filed write it in the record, 2 vehicles are found in santacruzand the other 2 in goregaon. should i tell all these, i will handle the rest of it. "i knew you would wait here for me, sir.thank you" if it was not for you...- stop bull-shitting me six cars in 10 days. in one area...how is it possible? "cannot help it, sir.i was in need of the money" who is ailing this time?- my brother open the dashboard

that small wad "go, take your brotherto a proper hospital" and i did not give you the moneybecause you are an informer "i gave it because yourbrother is ill, okay?" this is jatin saheb.tell him whatever you tell me what...? at least say hello go on now "i will call on your brother, okay?" and stop smoking pot!

go on now. get lost this is the first time i saw a policeofficer giving another officer a bribe a police officer is human too "it is the same in our department.you scratch my back, i scratch yours" it is like this. i am on severalguys' hitlists... "when someone comes to kill me, i amnot going to wait for orders, am i?" i will pull out my rod self-defense is not thedepartment's responsibility.. one has to do it on his own.you know that

if you kill someone... you need not necessarilyget a medal "but make one mistake,and you go to hell" "your family's given 200,000 rupees.- is that not a strange thing, sir?" a policeman's job is itselfvery strange a thug takes to his heelswhen he spots a police car... and one has to jump the signal "our seniors know that,so it is all right" you go out. sit down - thank you sir.

what have you done today?- i picked up someone in bandra... and i have been interrogating him.- you got to go to pune. right now receive these two menat pune airport "and do as they say, okay?" i was roaming around pune, 2 came to me. one got into the car and the other was outside.the one who got into the car asked me to kill the other one. and i did. i dropped theother guy at pune airport... "i went home, took a bath,had a meal and went to sleep" and returned to mumbai"i went home, took a bath,had a meal and went to sleep"

"how did you shoot without evenknowing who he was, sir?" "mr suchak asked me to do it,so i did" what argument can a police inspectorhave with the joint commissioner? he must have been orderedby a senior too we are all part of the system it is the system that decides thingsand we simply follow it young men are sent to the bordersto kill people they go and kill. do they even knowwhom they have killed and why? "but they do kill, do they not?- they atleast know it is the enemy"

but who decides that they are enemy?who is it... "the bureaucrat in delhi, is it not?it is the minister, right?" that is how i was ordered too.- but you were the one who fired... do we have a choice? we are not allowed to think we only got to use our finger.to squeeze the trigger i cannot understand sir...- if i ask you to bump this guy off... would you not do it? "when your senior officer tells youto shoot him, would you not bump him off?"

"i will, sir.- that is it" we are like whores! before a customerhas left and another has arrived... "we got to get decked up,wait at the window and solicit..." "francis, why are you peeing there?- the loo is stinking" how did this bloody gamblerget into the police force? i am playing with four jokers two in the pack and two in front of me.- one is at your side too "one movie turns out to be a hit,and the phone calls begin" "prieti zinta, bipasha...who have they spared?"

happy anniversary - thank you - whereis sister-in-law? sister-in-law...- imtiyaz...? flowers. for you.- do not talk to me why so...?- not at all you did not invite us overeven on idd day at least congratulate me what congratulations...? i would give you a gallantry awardif i could help it what?

spending 15 years with sadhu siris no joke you are the one who spendsmore time with him you ought to get the award for you mother...- one minute "happy anniversary, sadhu saheb" zameer! did you receivethe flowers i sent? you have sent me the whole garden.why did you not come?did you receivethe flowers i sent?

you have sent me the whole garden.why did you not come? i am not in such a tearing hurryto go up there who told you you are going up?you are going to be buried in the earthi am not in such a tearing hurryto go up there who told you you are going up?you are going to be buried in the earth "you are coming with me underthe earth too, are you not?" i will send you ahead firstand come later "because you sent the flowers, do notthink you are getting a concession" "so what can i do, sir...?" want me to send a diamond setfor your wife? from belgium?

oh shut up. my wife ishappy with what she has "you have three wives, right?deck them up with diamonds" what did you understand? disconnect now. "all right, i will hang up" god protect you.- god is merciful you are not eating anything.please help yourself every time you make some calls, you get tensed. who is he? friend business friend - than why you get so hassled? he gives you much tension? - kill him now.

you go to room - why i like it here - go. i do not like to get beaten up "i would have told you,if i knew" smart ass! tell me when is he going to come? who? -when is he coming? feroz "i have no idea, sir.i swear it on my mother" bastard... "what is happening?- imtiyaz has picked up someone, sir"

who?- he is questioning someone called vinod open up open up! who brought him? at whose orderswas he brought here? "on my orders, sir.- why?" "he has information, sir.- did you ask me?" "your cell-phone wasswitched off, sir" do i ever keep mycell-phone switched off?

give him a cup of tea.and drop him back move it! they pick up just about anyonefor no reason "not their mistake, sir.i had issued the order" it is their mistake! they oughtto know whose orders to obey stop doing as you wish! can anyone have his way here? "you, i... or narayan?can anyone have his way?" how did you get involved with imtiyaz?- i came here to work...

he took me away and asked meif i had any information you have no informationhe took me away and asked meif i had any information you have no information i do. but i will tell the onei am supposed to "all right, speak" feroz is coming.his mother stays in borivali she is ill.he is coming to meet her "how and where from,i do not know..." "but he is getting here on friday.- is he not the same feroz, sir?"

yes. i heard them say that if theywere as good shooters as feroz... they would rule the whole of bombay who is the best-sharpshooter?it is feroz. rajshekhar's man "you know that, sir" feroz is here in bombay watch out i am going to put four slugsinto that bastard "in the last encounter,he killed two policemen" "where did you get the tip, sir?- wear a jacket"

"i have received a tip offon feroz, sir" got to rush immediately "we will bump him off, sir" all right "do not go overboard, guys.no orders to kill him" we got to pick up some linksfrom feroz. for suchak saheb nobody opens fire "if it becomes necessary,shoot under the waist, okay?" "keshav, make an entryin the station diary"

left for enquiry i choice... you buy it yeah as long as you pay. lovely i want this. take - and how about this one - nice buy it. which one? - why are you showing this to me? if you want wear and see. take. your phone brother - tell me. important matter. feroz has been caught.- when?

yesterday.- that is half the good news... not all of it.- you bet! shekhar must have hada heart-attack "you have an amazing network, zameer.you already got to know?" that is exactly why i called.but why do you do this? "had he been my man, you would surelyhave bumped him off" "but because feroz is rajshekhar's man,you have only arrested him?" am i going to ask you... whom to arrestand whom to bump off?

if only your gun went offat my say-so... you would stand to gain all the way.so would i must you get started again...? hang up now and let meget on with my work "makes sense, you know.work, fame..." and also some money to go with it.what is wrong with that? "would be so much better if a scoundrellike you lost his sleep, is it not?" "you laugh like those charactersin "mahabharata" "it is very difficult to winagainst you, sadhu saheb"

"oh yes, you are so right" i am told feroz's mother diedin the firing. is it true? "yes, it was very sad.it was an accident" "better be careful, sadhu saheb" he will turn around and shoot themoment he has the opportunity feroz is a very dangerous man why are you getting bothered?i will deal with him god protect you from me

"your call, sir.- who is it?" says it is urgent give one clove. there was a shootoutoutside the court feroz has run away hail lord ganesha you are having a court marriageto save money...? "you must come to the reception, sir.- of course i will" it will make vaishali very happy i have given sir the invite...you folks must surely attend

of course. i will comeeven if i am not invited "how is vaishali, by the way?- she is fine" she has sent you a strange message.- what? she asked me to tell you thatshe has found her donkey what is all this about?- ask her she tells me to ask youand you tell me to ask her? this is how a wedding ought to be not like ours.we kept running around... as if we had committed a theft andyour father had set the cops after us

do not speak against my father not a word against my father.- why would not i? your father harassed me so much.what a rotten guy! is he not really..? want a small one...? a small one? "i will sit with your father someday,give him a few drinks..." and talk about the dowry.let us see if he gives me something switch off the music! "shut off the main gate, imtiyaz!someone just shot at me!"

"francis, take a look" "i will take a look, sir!" shut that gate! nammo... send for the ambulance!call dr shinde immediately! no she is dead. "i told you, sir..." you should not havejust arrested feroz you ought to have bumped him off.did you listen to me?

tell the officer i am here send him in "will you have some tea?- no, thank you" do you still want tocontinue in the crime branch? - yes. narayan... what happenedabout the jogeshwari case? sir...?- i told you about jogeshwari... "there is still no traceof that gang, sir" sit down "francis, have you takena statement from deshmukh?"

he is still in a coma you are always making excusesto shake off work give him some tea to bring himout of the coma. some for me too "where is that boy who brings tea?- he has not come, sir..." francis has not paid him.- what? i told him to collect once ina month. but he came every day and... he must not be sure if you wouldlast a month "you are so fat,you might burst any moment" "get some tea for me. go on!- keshav, send for some tea"

"that film producer. the baldie...- harish mirchandani, sir" he returned from dubai yesterday.we are picking him up today "may i take jatin along, sir?" "yes, go ahead.will you go with him, jatin?" "yes, sir.- take those hands out of your pocket" "playing pocket-billiards, are you?" what is it?- we have done an investigation... and we have photosof some suspects... but it does not amount to much

let me see see you "that corporator velinkar, sir...- of ghatkopar?" "yes, he was talking over the phone.- what was he saying?" he is the one who mastermindedferoz's escape..."yes, he was talking over the phone.- what was he saying?" he is the one who mastermindedferoz's escape... he engineered the shootout too.- who was he talking to? "i do not know, but it wassomeone in malaysia" open the gate.

it is nice only to hear but nothing to see it is the sea i am talking about it took over 20 millionto build this house and i got to live herewith my nose shut it is called sea-facing.sea-facing when i get up in the morningand look out... i can see them allshitting in the openwhen i get up in the morningand look out... i can see them allshitting in the open

i get to see their asses "my wife did not like the place,so she ran away. to the village" and i am all alone here.at sunset... i make a drink for myseif how will i iive in this stinkif i do not drink? so what brings you here? i had some questions to ask me? about what?- about yourself

age: 40 years. weight: 70 kgs.height: 5 feet 8 inches dark complexioned.anymore questions? was it you who plannedferoz's escape? feroz who?- rajshekhar's shooter "the one, who...?- the one i arrested" what have i done? do you not know what you have done?- i want to hear it from you what have i done?- you masterminded his escape who told you?

"in the crime branch, why doesanyone need to tell me?" one can understand everything.- hey... you take me for a criminal...?i am a corporator! who said a criminal cannotalso be a corporator? do not talk too much! "because you are a policeman,i invited you to sit down" "else, i would have kicked you out!" "why get so worked up?you work for rajshekhar, do you not?" so where is feroz?- who feroz...? what feroz?

you have ruined the kick! you want to screw mebecause your wife is dead? "there are so many more whores,go and marry one of them!" "and just shut up!else, i will tell the home secretary..." and have you sacked! you dareaccuse a corporator? throw this asshole out! do you not glare at me!i will gouge your eyes out! dump this bastard in themunicipal truck! these dogs come to bitethe very hand that feeds them!

come and see me immediately "right now, sir...- i want to see you rightaway" take the kid home "aman, go home with him." this is sheer irresponsibility sadhu. "i am only doing my duty, sir.- do not tell me what your duty is" "everyone knows velinkar israjshekhar's man, sir" he is also a corporator.- that is why i was silent "else, i would have dragged him here.- without any evidence?"

"when he starts singing,we will have all the evidence" and he knows a lot about rajshekhar.a few days ago... he applied for a visain malaysia "so let me do it, sir.- no" you are the most responsible officerin the crime branch you cannot do such things "i have given 15 years of my lifeto this department, sir..." and nobody has ever stopped me.neither has my intent been suspected... nor did anyone stop me

"because of this department,my personal life..." there you are! you see it personally and youare taking it personally. i will type my resignation and send it to you. cc tocommissioner and cc to home department. thank you sir. there was a call for you he was abusing you who? "he said, like he killed mother..." he would not spare you either it is switched off

sadhu sir's cell is neverswitched off. try again hey... have you got to know? keshav... dump everything in the store what is gotten into you?have you gone mad? is that the way you talkto your new chief? "keshav, get some sweets" "is sadhu sir there?- no, he has gone out" hello aman - hello - where is your father?- i do not know

when was the plaster taken off?- today "tell your father i was here, okay?" good afternoon sir - good afternoon imtiaz come sit down. congratulation what for? you have become whatyou wanted to become "someone had to stepinto your shoes, sir" mr suchak considered meworthy enough i will go and fetch aman from school

"come, let us have some coffee" "no, sir. not now...- come on" "i am sorry, i had somethingofficial to discuss with you" you have come as a cop? "i am sorry about it, but..." why feel sorry whenyou are doing your duty? what is it? i want to talk about velinkar about velinkar

why talk about someonewho is dead? let us talk about thosewho are alive ask me about zameer.about feroz about rajshekhar you have killed him?- whom? velinkar what do you think? mr suchak thinks you are the onewho has bumped him off suppose i have.what is he going to do?

he was on our hitlistin any case yes? what am i hearing...? you are theone who bumped off velinkar? that is good. you at least bumpedoff one man in rajshekhar's mob call me later suppose i have killed him. so? i will have to do asmr suchak says then so do as mr suchakasks you to go and have a word with him

he knows everything "about rajshekhar, his..." pune-connection...talk to him do as he says how much sugar?one or two spoons? "no coffee, sir.- have some milk then" "no thank you, sir.some other day" sadhu akash "look, it is an official matter"

not personal the information must not leak follow? we are going to arrest the one fromwhom we learnt the tricks of the trade damn itwe are going to arrest the one fromwhom we learnt the tricks of the trade sadhu saheb did so muchfor the department what does he get in return? zilch!this is what he gets even gave eighteen yearsof his life pack up. it is eight.let us go home

"get ready, guys.we got to make an arrest" "francis, assemble everyone.- who is to be picked up this time?" "sanjay, go to the terrace" "rane, guard the rear gate" "right, sir" and you... go that way narayan... you will lead.let us go check the kitchen...that room

where are you going? master asked meto take aman to pune are you going to pune? "how are you, sadhu saheb?" took you too long could not help it.my men gave me your number just now why do you employ useless chaps? because all the able menare in the police force "i have to make do with the rest, sir"

"why did you change the number, sir?- cut the crap. as if you do not know" "still, why did you?" "when a policeman quits his job,he has to leave everything behind" "phones, cars, uniforms,quarters, everything" "well, saheb..." "whatever i do,you are right behind, haunting me" i would not anymore. i am no more a cop.tell me what you have to how much were you drawing?- what? i asked...

go on.- what was your salary? why? want to send someone overto extort money? "where is feroz?- what do i say, saheb?" my men are still looking for him "ever since he ran from the court,wonder where he disappeared" "if it is beyond you, tell me.do not keep me on tenterhooks" "do not say that, saheb" feroz will die...at your hands. that is a promise "go on.- pappu here, saheb"

important information.- go on - that cannot be told over phone, you should come directly."go on.- pappu here, saheb" important information.- go on - that cannot be told over phone, you should come directly. pull over "come here, sir" "what are you upto, imtiyaz?" do you not know? is this your first time?- but what? we have orders to bump him off.- what! "do not be crazy, imtiyaz.- i am not crazy, francis"

"we trained under him, did we not?orders are orders" do not spare a criminal.kill him right there. on the spot! that is what i am going to do "back off, francis. back off!- hold it, imtiyaz" it is mr suchak's orders! when? where? sadhu akash must not leave mumbai getting you out of indiais not an easy task

"stop laughing, swine.you know that you can do it" do it. i will always beindebted to you until yesterday you wantedto slit my throat "look, there is an appropriate timefor every thing" now it is timeto fly on the other side "fly on the other side?- yes, that is right" "understand, idiot.it is time to fly on the other side" does that mean you wantto join hands with me? "illiterate asshole! you cannot reador write, that is why i am telling you"

"look, i do not have time.get me out of here" you dig? i have never asked anyone a favour "i never asked anyone a favour,never bowed before anyone" but i am asking you one "do me one favour, that is it" "i will do your bidding, swine" i will lie down in a corner if you say. i want feroz

"given, okay?" that is it "that is all. you will not kill him,i will kill him" "yes, you do that. good for me" "kill him, kill rajshekhar too.i will be the king..." "enough! enough of cacophony.just do my job, quick" "okay, take down a number""enough! enough of cacophony.just do my job, quick" "okay, take down a number" "hang on, hang on"

sadhu akashin zameer's gang! it is front-page news what use is he to us?- asshole just imagine the amountof information he must be having... "about the cops,about rajshekhar's gang" he is the best shooterin the police force two thousand times better thanour shooters what am i hearing? you issued ordersto shoot sadhu akash at sight?

that criminal shot deadpolice officer imtiyaz criminal? how could you say that about a sincere officer? what i must doand what i must not... "you no longer have the authorityto tell me, mr pradhan" you can go please. crime branch inspector sadhu akashis having links with underworld.... while crime branch police were bringing him after arresting,sadhu akash shot a police named imtiaz and fled. crime branch inspector jatin shukla arranged a press conference.

shoot at sight order on sadhu akash, which hasbeen passed on by commissioner. told that powers are been misused. and jatin shukla had been promoted to sadhu akash's post. till now sadhu akash has not been captured by eithercrime branch or mumbai police. our star news report. "according to informationjust received, jcp n.p suchak..." allegations on him lead to a seperate commission. cbi enquiry has reported that he misused his powerand has connections with underworld. he had turned down the allegations against him.

"under these circumstances, clearly,the possibility of a nexus..." between the police and the underworldcannot be denied but sadhu akash killing his collegue and fleeing to asecret place is also been told. till now the prime accusedsadhu akash is also not arrested. sadhu akash is also said tohave underworld connections.till now the prime accusedsadhu akash is also not arrested. sadhu akash is also said tohave underworld connections. so pimp...? "single malt, right?" and i thought only i knewmore about you

"sadhu saheb, whether one knowsabout his friend or not..." it is imperative to knowabout one's enemy you still consider me your enemy? when i call you sadhu saheb...- relax. put that gun away show me pulled the magazine out.you do not trust me yet "oh come on, take it" ever fired one? i was saying...

you were my enemy when i usedto call you sadhu saheb "now that you are my friend,i will call you sadhu" you mind? the one who hurt you the most... ..is sitting before you, unarmed. in the sense,this is not loaded. "if i mind, i will die" "come on, sadhu" sadhu?

not sadhu saheb just sadhu nice to hear that my entire life has changed never mind my policy. never go against life but it is okay when you interferein others lives cannot help it.that is my business. what say? but i never interfered with my life

i let life take its own course.- really? "i swear, believe me" just imagine. someone whowas born in a remote village... "never studied after fourth class,today he has..." this "this, what?" strength "not strength, it is callednuisance value" meaning?

you do not even understandtwo words in english how do you talk tothat white girlfriend? well... still i am sitting before you this is called strengthstill i am sitting before you and despite killing 20 of your men... you did not kill me you shipped me here you are looking after me

gave me new clothes you must be planninghow to use me "use me in which way, this or that" you shocked the mumbai police.you snatched away their top officer "now, how will you use me!" such dirty thoughts going on inyour mind is called nuisance value "what are you laughing, swine?" you can kill me right here yet i am sitting before you.strength

i used to be a cop "what strength, sadhu?" "like they chase street dogs,the cops chased you out of mumbai" you were a cop for 20 years.what strength did you gather? zilch and your imtiyaz!he set out to kill you that is strength for you.- let me have your glass you could not save your own wifeand you talk about strength i am talking to my friend.no one will disturb me till morning "sadhu, as long as this copis alive within you..."

it will be difficult for usto work together let it be. use another glass forget the cop inside youas fast as you can it is in the best of interests.for you and me the day i threw my resignationon suchak's face... i put the tag of being a copbehind me good.- you are right he is not a cop who cannot savehis own wife. i have forgotten it all "with time,one must forget everything"

else time forget us bloody philosopher but i cannot forget one thing but i cannot forget one thing.it is etched deep in my mind you should not have killed my wife you should not have killed my wife.what do you say? "in the underworld and in the police,there is an unseen and unwritten pact" never touch the family you broke the pact

why did you kill my wife? "you called her sister-in-law,did you not?" you wanted to give hera diamond set where is the ice? are you drunk? "you are sober again, i guess" if you think that... this sadhu is not a normal person, if he is left alone,he would be treat to our life. take this

load it and blow my brains out kill me "i just rave, you know.but i want to work with you" to hell with the police force! there should not be any mess and misunderstandings. "but you are already undera misconception, sadhu saheb" feroz escaped from the courtjust to take revenge from you you killed his mother

he killed your wife right? how could feroz kill? he wanted to take revenge.- right i read the vengeance in his eyes and he did iti read the vengeance in his eyes and he did it i did give him a chance. because the day feroz escapedfrom the court...

i killed him that very night! after my wife died,when you called me... to say thatferoz killed her... i suspected you again, when my son saidferoz had called... my suspicion was proved right "you thought, because of ferozi would go after rajshekhar's men..." finish them off "you worked out a plan for yourown good, but i had to pay for it"

my wife died for no reasons but i did not break down suchak has already been suspended. "in the newspapers,in the news channels..." everything will be outin the open "by killing zameer, you have brokena high profile nexus..." "between the underworld, the policeand the politicians" "and that will goin favour of you, in court" i will personally meet the home minister and explain him. how allit is sorted. and the role you have played.

"the cases against me will be dropped,but i would not get my job back" and even if you talk to the homeminister and get me reinstated... for how long? "in the next election,the home minister will change" and the new guy would turn out to besomeone whom i had thrashed before he might even be someconnection with the underworld. they would not let me be "they will dig up everything.open files, reopen cases..." i am accused of murdering imtiyaz

i killed velinkar and i did all thatafter i quit the force. so technically i am criminal. why did we creat this squad in the first place? to finish offthose criminals, who exploit the loopholes of the law... even police cannot do anything, they have to kill him. that's it. no good cutting branches in india.i would rather stay here and chop the roots "i will go meet rajshekhar, say hi-helloto him and see what can be done" it is possible that something...may go wrong something you know. i do not mind, i am prepared for that.

"you used to say,once a cop, always a cop" what do you like to have coffee, coke?-coffee. "sir, i want a favour from you" "as you know, my son amanis staying with his aunt in pune" take care of him.and tell him that i am doing my job

Selasa, 06 Desember 2016

funny 2017 resolutions

[title]

(audience applause and cheers) (upbeat music) - thank you, thank you. schmarvard. good afternoon san diego. (audience cheers) so i have a new book comingout called askgaryvee mainly because the truth is, i really don't evenwant to speak right now.

i just want to godirectly into q & a because i can pontificate my theses all day long on stage and have for a long timein my career at this point. but the truth is, i thinkit's far more interesting to actually startanswering practical questions that a lot of peoplehere are trying to deal with. so i'm going tospiel a little bit but i'm going to gointo q & a for quite a bit.

i asked for alittle bit more time. so hopefully someof you can push back your dinner reservations 'cause i wannakinda sit on that chair and answer your questions. another quick request,i know you're probably filming but is there any way to turndown the lights a little bit and turn up the roomlights so i can see faces? and if not i totally getthat if you guys can't do it,

but that'd be awesome. so what do i want to talk about? look i think that there's a lotof things we can talk about. number one i thinkthat i like social media. or how many of you are familiar that over thelast three to six weeks i've become a 14-year old girl, and am completely obsessedwith snapchat by show of hands? (audience chuckling)

cool, actually raise 'emhigher i just wanna get a sense. so first thank youall for paying attention, second of all, what a lotof you are probably trying to figure out is, where do i sit on snapchat,why has it become so fierce? my life and my career andthe reason i think i can buy the new york jets ispredicated on one core talent. i actually think thati suck shit at 99% of things but there's one thingthat i do extremely well

that luckily for meends up making me successful which is i've got agood sense of what you're gonna do before youthink you're gonna do it. right, so, my firstsuccess happened in 1996. in 1996 when i launched winelibrary.com, i launched one of the first e-commerce wine businesses in america. you know, there'sa lot of youngsters. as a matter of fact, howmany people by show of hands,

i know you're gettingtired later in the day but don't bullshitme, just give it to me. how many by show of handsremember the world pre-internet? raise your hands. nice, so there's someold fuckers in here like me. (audience laughter) so if you went back there,if you guys remember, what i remember,literally people told me that the internet wasa fad, literally.

like, this wasn't going to last and what is this and literally thefirst time i ever pitched winelibrary.com, thefirst person that asked me how i was going to deliver winethrough the internet thought that i was going totake a bottle of wine and put it in a wireand it was going to show up at somebody's house. so like, this iswhere we were kids,

back in '96, people weretrying to figure it out. what i knew was thatpeople were going to buy wine. how many people herehave done wine online? how many people here havedone e-mail marketing in their careers?raise your hands. great, in 1997 i had a 800,000, excuse me, in 1997 i had a 200,000person e-mail newsletter, for winelibrary.comthat had 91.2% open rates

and 67% click through. by the way, not 'causei'm so fucking special. it's because nobody fuckingdid e-mail marketing in 1997 and we hadn't, we hadn'truined e-mail yet. like e-mail was fucking pure, guys people lovedfucking e-mail in 1997. we read every fucking word. it was good and thenwe fucking came along and ruined that shit

and basically alli'm doing right now is systematically figuringout how to ruin snapchat. and when i say ... (audience laughter and applause) fuck i reallywant these lights down because your faces are legit, that's why i'mdoing this, sorry. when i say ruin, i mean,what i really believe, more than anything,this whole spiel of branding

versus dr,conversion versus that. yeah, i'm really fascinated. i wish i couldtalk to every one of you because you'reanywhere from 100 and zero to the reverse of 100 and zero. for example myclients toyota, pepsi, dove, you know thebiggest brands in the world that drive my business right? our clients have to pay

$60,000 to $70,000a month for us to do their social media right? but they're biggest brands, we're notlooking for local stores, you know these arecompanies that are paying me a $100,000, $200,000 dollars a month. not only forstrategy and account work but the producing of thecontent, the paid strategy. real fucking work,things that they do on tv

and other places. they go on the spectrum ofbranding extremely far, right? they think it's all branding,they don't even know if they're converting. my mountain dewclient doesn't know if their tv spotduring the super bowl or that picture oninstagram is really selling all the way through 'cause they don't control 7-11

or albertsons, theydon't have the full funnel. a lot of us here dohave the full funnel, whether we're e-com orwe do our own business. so what happens with us aka the companiesthat i used to talk to, back in the earlydays of the internet, only seven or eight years ago, livingsocial, zynga, groupon. i would talk tothem a lot about,

you're getting waytoo addicted to just math. because you'replaying on conversion but you're not thinkingabout lifetime value or brand and then as so manyof you have probably felt already in your careers. if you're just winningthe first result on google or google adwords, guys,in 90, the day google adwords, just to tell youwhere i come from and a lot of it's funny.

i know i'm bouncinga little bit here. as i go in hardcore in socialand nine, ten, eleven, twelve. i would be negativetowards google adwords and e-mail marketing and banner because all my digitalcontemporaries were living that and they would bust my chopsand i would explain to them it's only 'causeyour catching me in 2012. in 2001 and two and three,the only thing i did talk about was digital 1.0, e-mail, e-comm,

landing page optimization. guys i was doingbanner ads in 1996 that were getting 13% clickthroughs on certain wine sites. right, so, like, numbers that are just not real. numbers that youcould never replicate, i owned the wordwine on google adwords, the day it came outfor nine and a half months at five cents a clickbefore anybody bid me up. right it's like, laughable now

because it's a fuckload of years later. but at the time people didn'teven know what google was. i started my youtube wine show which is really whatbrought me to this world. less than a yearafter youtube came out, when i would tellpeople that i was doing it, people didn'tknow what youtube was. there wasn't asingle video on youtube when i started wine library tv

that had a million views. for the first year and ahalf i did wine library tv, nobody fucking watched, right? and so, i guess whati'm thinking about is what's the differencebetween my behavior and the majority ofthe room's behavior? what is it aboutthe way i operate that allows meto hold my breath, let's call it, what it is.

like, hold my breathfor two to three years and allow themarket to come to me? when i startedvaynermedia in 2009, when i went to campbell's and the nhl and pepsito take them as clients, to pitch them, literally in the room i would say, look campbell's,you need a facebook fan page. literally, i just need you guys to wrap your head around this.

they didn't know what it was. they didn't evenknow what facebook was, like literally thank god! one person was like, i think that's thatshit my kid's on in college. and so what i'mfascinated by is mapping every person in this room of how much do theycare about brand versus dr. i have friends andhomies who make lots of money.

million, two million,thee million dollars a year and they're all dr.it's all math. it's just quantarbitrage, right? whether it'slanding page optimization, google adwords, facebook ads, whatever it is of the moment, they're driving to a place, they're converting and away they go. passive income in somepeople's minds not in others.

it is what it is. it's a marketplaceand it changes. the word wine was fivecents a click at one point. then it becomesfour dollars a click. it's just marketplace dynamics. i've been yelling myfucking ass off for four years about facebook ads. and a lot ofpeople in this room, 'cause i've beenwatching twitter stream,

two, three years agodidn't believe in it. because it wasn't converting as well asgoogle adwords for them. and thus it wasn't something they paid attention to. and now they've justfinally figured it out. the problem is all those cpms and all thatattention is more expensive than it was four years ago. and so the debatethat we should have

in this room understandingthe makeup of this room from my point ofview is what's the timing? and more importantly, whatare you trying to accomplish? so for me, the world breaksdown into sales and marketing. they're one and the same.i was thinking about schmarketing but i'm working on it. i believe in my heart mainly because isearched the hashtag and clicked a lot of yourprofiles on my flight here

and was gettingprepped for this talk that the far majority of thisroom is in the sales business. they're trying toconvert a certain thing, to drive certain revenue,and they're trying to achieve certain short-termmonies for their careers. i think a muchsmaller percentage is in themarketing business where at this point,whether it's my personal brand or my wine business,

my wine business hasdone a lot of things wrong for the last sevenyears without me involved, but the brandwas so goddamn strong that they've basically doneeverything wrong for seven years and yet the business was strong 'cause it's winning on brand. right, when we talk and makefun of things that suck, they're winning on brand. you can be wrongfor a very long time

and have youractions be really wrong once you become a brand, but you have to have brand, real brandstrategies and thoughts. for example, aspeople in our space over the next 12 to 24 months start talkingmore about snapchat, there's a disproportionateamount of people in this fucking room thatare gonna think it's stupid

and not believe in itbecause there's no functionality to quantify thedirect roi in a transaction when you'remarketing on snapchat. it's the reason so many ofyou missed the instagram boat as a major play for you because each postdidn't have a link out and because youcouldn't track the conversion or make your saleor do those things, you didn't value it.

the value curve of a transaction versus the lifetimebranding of something is the disconnectand the opportunity. period. that's the arbitrage. now, it goes horriblein the other direction. let me show youby show of hands. how many people in this room, when they watch television,outside of live sports

and the oscars are now watching tv on their time. not when it airs, but you're watchingnetflix, hbo go, dvr. you're watching on your tvat this point on your time. if you're doing this,raise your hand because i wanteverybody to see this. raise your hand ifthat's how you do it.

hold on. actually, you know what, fuck it, i needa snap real quick. give me a second.(audience laughter) give me one second. thank you very much. hold on, i got a concept. hey corporate america assholes, this is howeverybody now watches tv.

they're raising their hand 'cause they don'twatch it when it airs, which means they're not watching your fuckingbullshit commercials. (audience applause)cool. so, everybody inthis room, everybody, is now watching television on their time which means they are fast forwardingevery single commercial.

and god forbid, god forbid, i don't know, your remotecontrol falls off your bed and thecommercial actually airs, every fucking person inthis room grabs their phone and checks their email ortweets or checks their social. which means, that the entirefirst 12 minutes of this talk has been predicated on theonly thing i do for a living, the only thingi do for a living,

besides try to guesswhat you're gonna do before you thinkyou're gonna do it, the only thing i actually do a for a living is day trade attention. let me break thisdown because i really hope that two fuckers understand this and go on to make a lot of money. i day trade attention. what does that mean?

here's what it means. direct mail still works, it's just overpriced. right? how many peoplehere, by show of hands, can't wait to leavesunny san diego, go back home, get to their house, and carefully gothrough their direct mail? one.

carol, you got somefucking problems. (laughs) how can direct mail, aspost has just gone up in price over last 30 years, while we have so manyother options to do things and not look at it, how candirect mail be a viable media? it is, it can work. multi-billion dollars spentby brands and business to do direct mail. some of you aresitting here saying,

"my direct mail's working." that's great, it can. if you have a business model that sustains theconversion rate, hallelujah. but the question always is, can you do something elsewith those monies to convert? wine library has gonecompletely away from direct mail and now usesfacebook as direct mail and is converting exponentiallybetter, so you know,

this always my problemwith people that i talk to when i go in the offenseon what they should be doing. they're like, "gary, buti'm making $4 million a year." i'm like, "that's great, dick. "what's wrong with eight?" and so, direct mail maybe working,but direct mail on what's the date? thank you.

on february 9, 2016 is not as valuable as it was a year ago, four years ago, or 11 years ago. outdoor media, multi-billions of dollars spent on billboardsall across this country. when you leave this conference, go home and watchfive people driving. remember this talk.

watch five people driving. i promise you thatevery single fucking passenger that you see in the car islooking down at their phone. all of them. as a matter of fact,three of the five drivers are looking at their phone. people aren't lookingat outdoor media today the way they were 10 years ago. they're barely lookingat the fucking road itself.

tell me why billboardprices have gone up 12% in the lastdecade when your attention has gone completelyaway from it. as a matter of fact,attention is so intriguing if you pay attention to it, that fast forwarding of commercials in 2015 have declined. we have declined our behaviorof fast forwarding commercials

because we'd rather not even spend the second to do that, we'd rather just grabour phone and not do it. big media companiesat first were like, "oh, this is great data. "they're not fastforwarding anymore." of course they are, we'rejust not paying attention. attention is the game. the reason twitter's introuble and it breaks my heart to say that becausei built my brand on it.

if there's a platform inthe world besides youtube that i really have to give mycareer to, it is twitter. not only did ibuild my brand on it, i invested very early onand made a fuck load of money. right? i love twitter. i love thatlittle fucking blue bird like you couldn't imagine. so to stand here onfebruary 9, 2016 and know that in south by southwest 2007

when i was sittingwith my homie nate and i had 5,000followers and i said, "follow my homie nate," and he had 1,000people follow him. within an hourthat i stand here today with 1.2 millionfollowers on twitter and if i saidfollow my homie nate, 38 of them would follow. i learned thislesson a long time ago.

in 1997, i bought an ad on luxury.com. now remember, the internetfor all intents and purposes is really about 20 years old. i know there's a bunchof nerds in the back saying, "actually, thegovernment in 1965." i know, nerd.

but i mean us normal peoplehave only been on the internet for about 20 years, and so we're very early and this was only acouple of years into it. here's thisthing called luxury.com that emails me and says,"you have winelibrary.com," because i was oneof only two people selling wine on the internet, and they're like,"we have luxury.com

"and we have one millionpeople on our email list." at that point i had, i don't know, 7,000. i was like, fuck. they're like,"for $20,000 we'll blast everybody." i'm like, "this is it. "this is it." so, they'regonna send the email, they're on thewest coast, luxury.com. i get the whole top oftheir email, this is it.

i'm so pumped, i hirelike eight fucking people. like we have to packorders for the rest of my life. this is gonna be it. then day comes andi have everybody on the schedule like more than onchristmas, it's like march 9th. and like, i'm superpumped and nothing happens. it's like 9:30, i'mlike, "oh wait a minute." i'm superpanicking, it's like 11:30 and we got like noorders and i'm like,

"what the fuck is going on?" and i'm like, "oh right,they're on the west coast. "they said nine o'clock, "they're probablygonna send it at noon." sure enough, that was the case. i was super pumpedfrom like 11 to 12, nirvana. you know like when you see a cop and you get scared for a second but then you'recool when he drives by,

that's how i was.(audience laughter) i was like super pumped. i'm like, good,i'm gonna be okay. 12 comes and by 2 p.m. we had six orders. i was like, fuck me. it was the moment iunderstood that width is cute but depth is everything. what's happening rightnow is we are all living through a very intriguing time.

my friends,please take a step back and don't think aboutyour business right now. take a step backand be a human being and understand the following. we are living throughthe single biggest shift in communicationin human history. this internet thing at scale has fundamentallychanged everything. there are so many things thatpeople have said in this room

that they were nevergonna do that they now do because technologyis eating up the world. if you're braveenough because you have humility and lack ego, please raise your hand right now if you were aperson that once said that you would never beon facebook, raise your hand. raise it high. of the people thatjust raised their hand,

and i thank youfor your honesty, how many of you are on facebook? raise your hand. that, that right there. the amount of people in here, now, this should be much higher. how many people in this room the first timethey saw twitter said, "this is fucking stupid."raise it.

and right this second,a ton of you are like, "snapchat, isn't thatfor fucking dick pics?" there are grown-ass men in this room that are 55-years-old who in the last 24 hours sent a poop emoji. they're the samepeople that didn't even know what an emoji was 24 hours ago. right? this is what i'm talking about, and it's becausewe're living through

the great age-downificationof our society. what's happening istechnology is taking over. this same keynote that i gave probably at affiliatesummit not too long ago, when we were alittle bit younger, brother. i walked in and i saidlook the reason facebook is going to win, whileeverybody in that room, if you remember in '07 or whatever it was, was like fuck you,

it's all google adwords,google will always win. what the fuck is facebook?never, nothing is. i said look, it'sthe grandma effect. the second all these 23and 24-year-olds, in the next three or four years, if they stay on facebook, 'cause i had to see that play out, the second they start putting picturesof their grandkids on that platform,grandma's coming. and that's what happened.

and the reason i'm sohot on snapchat right now, is normal people are coming,not just 14 to 24-year-olds, 39-year-old dudes, 57-year-old aunts, normal people are coming and that's when a platform hits scale and it has attention. i have 27 to 30,000people looking at my snapchat stories, but out ofall my channels, including 250,000 plus on instagram,which has a ton of attention,

there's not a channelthat i can do and use today, that will convert moresales or get more people to do what i wantthem to do than snapchat, a platform thati've only taken seriously as a business since december. something that i've beentalking about since 2013, something that i believedin for a very long time, but i would onlyuse it with people that i knew in real life,

and then i would onlyand never use it in business, but only since ... 45 days ago, have i used in thatmanner and that attention graph is so staggering and my friends, that is wherebranding matters vs. sales. i can't convert it,i can't show it. i can turn it into that,you can turn anything with those brands,look you can do qvc

or be guthy-renkeron television, you can makeanything dr if that's what you want to do with it and that's fine and you should, because at least it will give you someconfidence that it's there. but you have toremember it's attention, it's just attention. google adwords, down19% in click throughs,

google ads arebeing clicked 19% less by the sameusers in the last year, because we ruin everything. we ruined e-mail. we're ruining google ads. google today announcedno more flash banners in the next few minutes, it's the same old game. facebook was morevaluable 24 months ago

than it is today,it's more valuable today than it will be in36 months and sometimes more valuable today thanit's going to be in three years, but it's not as valuableas it was a year ago. influencer marketing is the grossest undervalued productin the world, right now everyperson on instagram that has 647 fans can do morefor your sales and marketing than you'd ever imagine,

you just need 40,000 ofthem, because there's no scale. and so we're livingthrough very, very, very interesting times, and sowhat i would challenge you to do is to go upstairs,look in the mirror and audit yourself, andfigure out where you sit on the pendulum ofsales and marketing, and the closer thatyou can get to 50/50, especially ifyou're good at sales, remember earlier wheni said hold my breath,

how did i get there? it's because i'm sofucking good at sales. it's because in 2009,nobody could sell social media to bigbrands, but i could, and so those coupleof dollars allowed me to stay alive and get there. if you're so damngood at selling, take a percentage of those monies and invest it your long term,

to not look at brandingas the long-term play. why did i startdoing the #askgaryvee show and go back to youtube? why did i start doingdailyvee and all this vlogging? it's buildingbrand equity, it's brand and over brand ishow you actually win. there's a big differencebetween nike and apple, and their competitorspredicated on brand, and there's a big differencebetween social media experts.

i get paid $80,000 to speak. others get $4,000,that's called brand. and so what i needpeople to understand and what i hope peoplein this room understand is there's a huge opportunity, because everyday thatsomebody's better at something than you,something else comes along and you've got it at-bat. you missed facebook and twitter

and somebody in yourspace took it and won, good news, here'sfucking snapchat, right? you suck shit atsnapchat because you're weird and you don't wantto make content that way and you have to wait, great. next sugar isgoing to shmapchat. and so we're livingin a time where people are just building ontop of the internet itself, but we can'tunderestimate the dynamics

and we can't get lazy. do you know how many people come and want to talk aboutthe roi of social media or facebook and have no idea? do you know howmany arguments i've had about instagram'sroi or capabilities in the last six months,only to find out as i'm negotiating ordebating with the person that they saysomething, i'm like,

wait a minute, do youeven have an instagram account? do you know howmany of you pontificate and regurgitateheadlines about shit that you don'tfucking understand? a lot. and in that hyperbole,and in that headline reading is where practitionersmake their fucking money. and so it is february 9th, right, yeah, cool?

2016, and there's alot of shit going on and a lot of opportunity, yet what's holding people back is drawing lines in the sand. i don't believe thatsocial media has as much roi. listen, i hadto do it to myself. three years ago i feltthat i was going too far into my own hyperboleand i needed to go back and be smartand more disciplined

about my e-mail marketing and my sem, because i was getting a littletoo ahead of myself. right? so it's finding thatbalance of how to make this stuff workbecause the opportunity is substantial and there's always goingto be an arbitrage, there's always goingto be an opportunity, but it's mixing the whole thing. and again, i want to make surethat we really nail down brand.

not everybody is as extroverted, not everybody isunbelievably charismatic. you know, likenot everybody, right? and so you've gotto understand what you're looking to build around. i am not preaching for youto build your personal brand. i'm preaching foryou to build brand. right? you don't have tobuild it around yourself, and i know that's thecommon play and people do it,

and by the way if you like it,if you like the attention, if you like the cameras, if you like the accoladesand the laughs, god bless, it's a lot of fun,promise, super awesome. but there are tensof thousands of people making real fuckingmoney building brands around their businessesthat you've never heard of and that's whatthey've deployed it against. that matters.

in parallel, whileyou keep the lights on, and you drive your sales. my biggest frustration,especially for audiences of this makeup is the following: if a lot of yourealized that you could leave 500,000 to 2 millionin top line revenue on the table becauseall of your behavior wasn't to squeeze theorange for every penny on your conversionfunnels and you deployed

those monies andyou built it into brand, over a 36 to 48 month window,if you were good at brand, the one thing i'm worriedabout talking about brand right now, is you'vegot to be good at it. plenty of people buygoogle ads, plenty of people try to do landingpage optimization, plenty of peoplebuy facebook ads, so you have to be good at it, but if you are good at it,

you're buildingwealth instead of being rich. you know, it's funny,i always think about business, i'm a big chris rock fan. he had that jokeabout oprah and bill gates and it's how i think about this, which is you could berich by just playing the math, but if you can figure out brand,you can become wealthy. and that's really thequestion, are you willing to leave 500,000, 1 million

or 5%, 20% of the monies each year forthe next three or four years, while you deploy thosedollars and those efforts and energies into tryingto make a double, triple win? that is basically whati've seen my whole life. there's a reason that thetwo businesses that i've built, and forget aboutmy opinion on stage, i know there's a lot of peoplehere who don't know that much about me, let me just ground it.

there's a reason thati've run two businesses in my life, wine library and vaynermedia, this is notinformation products. this is not afucking mastermind. this is a retail storethat sells fucking wine and an agency thatworks with madison ave fortune 500companies, businesses. one went three from$60 million in revenue in four years, let mejust quantify that for you.

wine library, when it wasshopper's discount liquors, did $3 million dollarsin revenue on 10% gross profit, which for all youbusiness people at home means that i had$300,000 before expenses, luckily sasha vaynerchukdidn't pay anybody anything, so there was acouple bucks left over. but i built the businessfrom three to $60 million with no fucking money, no raising capital, like all these fuckershave been doing

for the last five years. i took the little money we had and i made everyfucking penny work. and i stood on the floorfrom 7:00 in the morning to 10:00 at night,monday through fucking sunday for 10 years, i punted. do you know what it isto punt your fucking 20s? do you know whatit feels like when all your friends e-mail you now

and say you're solucky and you have to reply 'cause you're sofucking pissed that that's cool josh that i'm lucky, but remember when youwent to the jersey shore and banged fucking chicks? i worked. wine library, threeto 65 million dollars, 60 million dollarsin sales in five years, and now vaynermedia,which i've now personally run

for four, almost five years now, and i've grown vaynermedia from 30 to 600 employees, from three to 100million dollars in revenue, 17% net profit,real fucking money, ajv gets to takea lot of money home, and so, how does that happen? it happens because mycfo hates my fucking guts. and what do i mean by that? you don't grow abusiness from three to 100

if you're gonnatry to maximize profit every 12 fucking months. if you're notmaking bets and investing, if you're not building brand, if you're not trying, i started four majordivisions last year: sampling, a lot ofour clients sample, yeah, here's thenew chocolate, right? that shit.

live events, like, youknow, all my fuckers go to coachella every year, my wholecompany fucking shuts down. those kinda things. video, and paid acceleration. live events, and sampling, dead. i'm announcingthat we're shutting down live events next week. hopefully none of thepeople paying for the livestream work at vaynermedia.

dead. fucking lost two million bucks. bought a site calledlost lettermen, a sports site, 'cause we're doing more media, dead.shut it down. lost a million bucks. but, video and paid madeall that money back and more, because i'm on the offense. i'm not trying to maximize,

'cause i don't need tobuy a fucking boat this year. and i don't need afucking lamborghini to put on the instagram, and i don'tneed a fucking watch, because i'm buildingan actual business, and i don'twanna retire next year, and so... my punchline to this is,please understand what's really happening here.

let me help you understand it. eyes and ears are the only thing youshould give a fuck about. and wherever they are matters. do you thinkthis fucking matters? it matters more thananything in the world. this is the fundamentalextension of your life. how many people here,in every 24-hour window, are always withinarms' reach of their phone?

look at this. look, front row, raise it. look. within arms' reachwhen you're sleeping, taking a shit, it's there. guys, i literally am notjoking when i tell you this. i literally would rathersomebody in new york city stab me in thestomach and steal my wallet than lose my phone.

now, we can all agreeit's important, right? cool. now. fifty-fucking-four percentof every second of attention on this fucking thingis in a social network. you still think it's a fad? my friends, socialnetwork is a bullshit term. there is no...what the fuck is social network? social networks is a slang term

for the currentstate of the internet. 53% of every second, and you got calendars, andyou got fucking angry birds, and you got words with... fucking horseshit, and utilities, it's all here, yet 53% is gobbled up bylike seven or eight sites. so you don'tthink that's important? of course it is, and every one of them isbecoming a place where you can

reverse engineer thatattention and sell something. the problem is for somany people in this room, it's not as black-and-whiteas email and google adwords. it's not conversion. it's why you like facebook,'cause it gives you that too. that's why i love facebook. facebook is so unbelievable. every time i... like, facebook went down today.

i guarantee you tonight, 'cause i have totake a car to fucking lax and a fucking red-eye to miami. tonight, i willabsolutely buy facebook stock after the rant i'm about todo, 'cause i do it every time. here's why facebook's gonna win. it has attention. yes, they arevulnerable to the fact that young kidsare not going on it.

cool, they took care of that. they bought instagram, so they're good foranother four to seven years. and they tried to buysnapchat two fucking years ago for three billion dollars, when 80% of this roomhadn't even heard of it yet, unless you had a 14-year-oldgirl in your life, right? so, zucksunderstands attention arbitrage. it's why he bought oculus rift,

'cause vr is the next internet. now, vr's 15 years away,and a lot of people in this room are gonna make a lotof mistakes and lose money 'cause they thinkit's gonna be here sooner, but it's coming. it's coming. and so... when i think aboutwhat's really happening there, and all the opportunity,what facebook provides

for everybody in this room, if you have not realizedthat facebook is, right now, the birth child oftelevision and direct mail, that's what facebook is. if you understandhow facebook works today, february 9th, 2016, it is the birth child oftelevision and direct mail, aka the greatest executionanybody in this room can do,

b-to-b or b-to-c, is the following: this is where i'mgoing straight practicality. not giving you the rah-rah,yay, this is all so cool, pay the fuck attention. straight practicality. if you understandwho you're selling to, 28-year-old women in iowawho are red sox fans, 42 to 47-year-old africanmen, african-american males, who like baseball, you know,

19 to 22-year-old dudes, even though they'renot supposed to be on it, i'll show you data, notwhat your headline says, that there's plenty of18 to 25-year-olds on facebook. they may not checkit 7,000 times a day, but there'splenty of them on it. and so, if you understand whatto do, here's the punchline. everybody hereneeds to figure out the most cost-effectiveway to make a commercial,

which means avideo, which means... you're not confinedby the way television is, so you can make it two, three. i actually wanna makethem as long as possible. you'll understand in a minute. if somebody watches myfour-minute and 18-second video all the way through on facebook, so when i talkabout facebook video, the headlinereaders here say, oh, fuck,

but they count every3-second view as a view. yes, they do. i don't give a fuck. because i have accessto data that shows me that, of the 4 million people,17,000 of them watched all four minutes and 18 seconds. and you know what i cando with all 17,000 of them? i can remarket tothose motherfuckers with a dr call to action,

after i'veemotionally affected them, and you know what happens? it's a funny thing. they fucking convert. plenty of peoplethink they know facebook, plenty of peopleread about facebook, but people don't havethe luxury that i have, which is spending $100 million in ads, spent across our clients,

to have a lot of datato support my hyperbole, or a 60-million-dollar retailstore where i get to see the impact on the bricksand mortars and the e-com, or a human brand thatunderstands what i am selling on snapchat vs. instagramvs. facebook vs. twitter vs. linkedin vs. email vs.my dot-com vs. medium.com, against my books,that i want you to all buy on march 8th, please, thank you. and so...(audience laughter)

this is the world i live in. i believe that i getthe luxury to stand on stage in front of so many smartpeople for a couple of reasons. one, i'm handsome.(audience laughter) two, two, i'm the best fucking practitioner at february 9th, 2016 marketing because i don'tgive a fuck about any platform. fuck social media.

if social media doesn't have your attention tommorrow, if you all go back to sittingaround your fucking house 'cause we havetoo much technology and we just sitaround like it's 1957 and listen to the fucking radio, i'm fucking in. and so, the reason i go on that little rant, is because i know a lot of you and you made your monies on google.

you made your money on seo. you made your money on facebook, and you will make your moneyon periscope and snapchat. and then you make a mistake. it's called gettingreally fucking romantic. you get real romanticabout how you did it, 'cause you put in alot of time and effort to figure it out. and you're sadthat shit's changing.

well, good news. or bad news,depending on how you roll. the market doesn't give a fuck. the market doesn't givea fuck that you spent years figuring out how to fuckinghref your fucking google pages. the market doesn'tgive a fuck, like i did, in 1999, you figured outhow to get people's first names at the top of the email, which tricked theminto buying more shit.

and the market doesn'tcare that i figured out snapchat today,because i figured out fucking twitter in2006, 2007, and 2008, and to figure out twitter, which is why somany people didn't do it, i spent 15 fucking hours a day, talking to all you motherfucking assholes every day, all the time, andthat's how you figured it out, and just because nowthe attention has gone away,

i can sit and cry abouthow i wasted all those years, and how sad itis, or i can realize, nobody gives afuck, and i can figure out the next thing and thenext thing and the next thing. and in that romance, andin that line that you all draw in the sand, in that, is where all themoney is to be made. understand? (crowd murmurs)

good. so. so please, please indulge me andaudit yourself and deploy what really separateswinning entrepreneurs from non-winning entrepreneurs which is a veryinteresting word. it's called self-awareness. know what you're good at.

if you're a hardcoremathematician, great. keep quanting thefuck out of things. if you're creative as shit, you better figure out thatsnapchat is really right for you 'cause that'swhat that's gonna be. know yourself. know where you're good at,reverse engineer yourself and put yourself andthe people that work for you in the best position to succeed.

you got somebody charismatic and clever inyour office right now? instead of being mad that they mightnot be good at details, why don't you give them a phone and put them incharge of putting the snapchatcontent out for you? please eliminate romance. please eliminate theway you want it to be.

i had a funnymeeting the other day, this is a good story, and then i'm gonna, i just want get in toq&a, so if you wanna start. oh, actually ryan,you're gonna come up here so get prepped, brother. here's a quickstory, i'm gonna use this, and then we're gonna go to q&a because i wanna putdetails on this hyperbole. was at a meeting the other day,

the guy's a ceo ofa $700 million company and they mainly sell to13 to 22-year-old females. we have a meeting and i do this around snapchat and instagram, but because he's a fuckingcorporate america mother fucker, i give him a hugedeck with tons of data. he likes math. we go through the whole thing and i'm basicallytrying to convince him

that he has to do ahell of a lot less print because all the18-year-old girls can't wait to getmagazines and go to page 97 and look at the ad.(audience laughter) and a hell of alot less facebook which is somethingwe got him to do over the last couple of years, which was goodfor a few minutes. and really startdeploying a lot more money

towards snapchat and instagram because that'swhere these people live, that's where their attention is, that's where we needto arbitrage against. we go through thewhole presentation. he goes, "gary, good stuff,appreciate it." he goes, "but, "i gotta be honest with you. "i just don't get instagram."

and i go, "that's great, dick, but "everyone ofyour customers does. "and it doesn'tmatter what you get "or what you want it to be. "you've got to deployagainst the end consumer." regardless of how youwant it, the market is moving, and it's marketingand it's moving fast. when you look atthat age downification, because of the grandma rule,

do you know thatthe fastest growing demo of individuals takingselfies on instagram right now are 42 to 48-year-old females. literally, literallycougar selfies dominating. and so we all, this is not how i thoughti was gonna roll at 40. i thought i was gonna befucking dead when i was 20. like i think i was old as shit. we are livingmuch younger lives.

if you map the average42-year-old american female in what she does,what she wears, where she goes out,what she spends her money on, she acts like a29-year-old american female, only 10 years ago. if you're lucky enoughlike i am to sit here right now and you know whatyour parents were like at the age thatyou are right now, if you're fortunate enoughthat you know how old you are

and you knew or can rememberyour parents at your age, you are stunninglyyounger than them. and that's becausetechnology is dragging us down. if you wanna keepup with the joneses and be a part of society,you have to figure it out. for us marketers andsales and business people, this is gonna play out. it's alreadystarting to play out and what i'm really focused on

and why i'm sittinghere a little longer is it's gonna playout more than you think. 4 1/2 hours isstill spent on television by the average american, 4 1/2 hours a day. two or three ofthose hours are in real, real jeopardy, in my opinion, over the next 10 to 15 years. how many peoplehere are retiring

in the next 10 years? and i don't mean you're gonnafucking crush it and retire. i mean, you're fuckingold and you're finished. who's out in 10 years? raise it. okay, good. so four of you. so, for the rest of you, if you think a lotof shit has gone down

in the last 10 years, wait 'til you seethe shit i'm looking at. i'm running $100million venture fund now so i do my startupstuff as some of you know. wait 'til you seewhat's actually coming next. i mean, none ofthis shit existed. if you go back 15 years,not google, not facebook, not mobile devices, none of it existed. it didn't exist.

i mean, all thethings that are coming, the smartification. do you know howinterested i am in tourism? do you know that vr in 15 years is gonna make your brain think that what you'reseeing in your vr device, which will probably becontact lenses, is 98.5% real? what does that affect? that affects thetourism industry.

like, i don't know. if i actually can sit in myhouse and put on contact lenses and it feels likei'm at the eiffel tower, maybe i don't wanna spendall that money to go do that. it affects movies and gaming. you know the porn guysare gonna go there real quick. so it's gonnaaffect relationships. and so, i think we aregrossly underestimating where things are going.

in 2007, i talked about alot of shit at affiliate summit, and sean, i watched that keynote, and i don't watchmy shit too often because what i rememberabout that keynote more than anything, maybe more thananything in my career was the audiencewas not buying it because they were inaffiliate and google math, and the social stuffdidn't seem right enough.

what's interesting to me is watching thatconversation play out, it's become very obvioushow things are gonna go. to me, if you canpattern recognize, you can make a lot of money. this is gonnahappen whether i say so, whether you want it to, it's just data. 150 fuckingmillion people a day,

a day arespending multiple, multiple minutes and hourswatching videos on snapchat. how do you disrespect that? i'll tell you how, 'cause you haven't figured out how to monetize it yet. that doesn't meanthe platform's wrong, that means you're fucking wrong. (audience applause) thank you, thank you.

- [ryan] thirsty? really, no? - thank you. - so you guys--- hold on, hold on. - wait, wait, wait,where are you going? we ain't done yet. sit down, we gotsome q&a time here. - no, no,let them go, let them go. i just want totell the 15 of you,

you're fucking up, becausethe good shit is coming now. i'm telling you,dude, we're in the tie, sit your fuckingass down, let's go. - he's actually doing it too. if you have a question, if you have a question, we've got some mic standsthere, there, there, there there, there,they're kind of everywhere. go ahead, hop upright now, get in line, we're going to try to getto as many of them as we can.

that was a really-- - let me throw aquick right hook, while you're waiting, everybody who's not already using it,download snapchat right now and follow me, you'renot going to know how, because the ui is very weirdthe first time you're on it, but you should. - how many of you guysfollowed gary on snapchat while he was doing this?

yeah, there you go. - okay, you get thefirst couple of questions. - yeah, i get the first couple. first, i lovewhat you said about people saying, "i don't get it."- yes. - i think that is one ofthe most dangerous things that we as human beings,it's like you immediately shut yourself off to creativity. this is not so much aquestion, more of a statement,

if you ever hearyourself say, "i don't get it," and you say itkind of a flippant way. - dude, this is your conference, you can come andtalk shit all the time, ask questions, whatthe fuck are you doing? (crowd laughter) - just wanted to make that-- - i'm kidding, i'm kidding. - one of us has a foot onthe stool, the other one--

- i'm ready to throw down, i've been working out.- yeah, there you go. so here's a question for you:- yeah. - with everythingthat's going on, right, where it rewardsthose who are out there, who are very public, who are very vocal, who have that influential brand, how do you getcredit for being quiet? i mean often times in life--

- i think this is guysthere are far more people making money that are quiet than there arepeople that look like me. it's not even close. it's data, how do you do it? you mean themajority of the world? - yeah, but okay,but if you're a brand and you want to do this, is it about finding someone

in your officethat can be that voice? - no, i think it'sabout building the logo. there's no nicknike, there's nike. right, like you don't needto build it around a person. we in this space--- yep. - default because thereis so many personal brands monetizing personal brands but to build yourbrand, john deere, or reebok orsun chips, you know,

these are just brands,build the brands. or law firms, or clients that you, ogilvy, or even vaynermedia,i mean the big joke at vaynermedianow is how many people come into the office as clients and have no idea i even exist, the brand in madisonavenue and fortune 500 is bigger than me, and i'm pumped. that's whatyou're supposed to do

when you're trying to scale. - yep, very cool. why do you think snapchat won? what was it aboutand continues to win? 'cause facebook had it.- scale, scale. - but why did it scale?- because it was easy. - why did the coolkids start playing with it? - it was just theright time in maturity for facebookwhere 15 to 19 year olds

were like i don'twant to do that because i don'tthink my seven year older brother is that cooland i definitely don't think my fucking mom is cool. it's really night clubnew york city dynamics and it will continue. snapchat in seven years isgoing to be old people place and something isgoing to come across. but it had multiple things.

number one, it wasanother place to hide from mom and dad withthe shit that you want to do. two, it disappeared. you know what's so funny? people are like,oh, but it disappears. yeah, you meanlike the way we actually communicate with each other? snapchat is farmore similar to the way humans communicatethan twitter or facebook

and so it won on that. it won on the scaleof just word of mouth and not evan spiegeldid an amazing job keeping it pure and notover-branding it and turning it intoa business too quick. so just one of those things. - so there willbe another snapchat, there will be anothergeneration that comes up. - i believe so.

- and it's justincumbent upon us if we want to continuethe stand up there-- - here's how i see it guys. i think this isthe television in 1965. i actually likei know a lot of you are like whatever, but justreally pay attention to this, because this might be oneof the better things i say. this, this is the television in 1965 and the tvs,

they're the radio. (stammering) what i do well, for somebodywho is a shit student, the one thingi do study is history, 'cause history lovesto repeat its fucking self. right, and so if yougo look at the brands, the beer brandsthat were romantic about staying on the radiobecause that's how they did it and didn't shift totelevision while things

like miller lite thatnobody's ever heard of went tv only and becamethe brands, if you look at tv 1965, that'swhat i think this is. and i think youtube,instagram, facebook and snapchat are abc, nbc and cbs. and then i think i withinit is m*a*s*h and happy days. (audience laughter)got it? so that's the system,so do i think over time espn comes around and hbo comes?

i do, there will be morechannels built on this platform and they'll be more competition that's what's happening and so what you needto do for your business figure out thechannels where you could be thestar of that network. - yeah, really.- you like that right? - was that helpful?- it's good. - that was some good stuff.

i like that. yeah, i like that a lot. so let's go, let's picksome question from the crowd. you want to start on one side? - [man] yo gary, i got a question-- - yo, yo, yo, ladies first dude. - [man] my bad,my bad, the lady here. - go ahead, darling. he does have ahuge beard though. - he does.- so he goes next.

- he could be hiding aknife in there or something. - gary, my question is youhave for your book marketing-- - [gary] can youget the mic closer? - yeah, for yourbook marketing right now, for your book launch, youhave an entire barter page set up for thestreet team and everything. and for podcasts, weare doing the bulk orders and for live events,but what about authors who have a muchsmaller following,

maybe 10, 20, 30,000people in their list? how can they dosomething similar to be able to movebooks in a creative way? - [gary] they can do thesame thing i'm doing. i started that barter thing,which has become a big standard forbigger personalities with crush it! when i was small and the numbersjust look different. now to even get me torecord my voice for your alarm

is 50 books, when i didcrush it!, seven years ago, if you bought threebooks, i'd fucking come and babysit yourfucking kids, right? - [ryan] that soundslike a great prize. yeah, that sounds like yeah. i got four of them,you could lose a couple and we'd be all right still. that's why we had multiple ones. - so to answer your question,

i think you need torecognize your worth of where youfeel your brand's at and create different models and maybe it's a two book deal,an eight book deal, and a twelve book deal, i think i topped out at 500 for crush it!,which was like literally like i will becomeyour best friend and now i start there because i've beenable to grow and have

it's just supply and demand, no different thanthe attention thing, but you should do it becauseit gives you a framework, especially if you keep doing it. the other thing i did to make crush it! work that was i did it and theni didn't rely on my audience, i went out andsold it like a salesman and so you can createit and then go and sell it instead of justhoping people land on it.

there's way too many people that are obsessedwith scale, right? let's run facebookads to my barter page, whatever happens happens,there's just not enough actual working the phones,going to conferences, calling people, e-mailing theway i sell my most books is byliterally sitting down for normally twostraight days straight, 18 hour day, 36 hours within 48 hours

and go in myaddress book of my e-mail, sit there, type the lettera, start with the first name, decide what myrelationship with that person is and then e-mail them. and i go as low as hey man,i have a new book coming out, this is somebody ibarely know or i've interacted once or twice, i'dlove for you to check it out and maybe leave asocial review up to like hey dickface, if youdon't buy 5,000 books,

you're fucking dead, right and so-- - [ryan] the good friends get that one. - that's right and so i would tell you the single best way to sell booksis actually sit down and do the non-scalable things, instead of the scalable things. - [woman] yeah, thank you. - alright, bearded. [ryan] alright, the man with aknife hidden in his beard.

- well, i apologize,ladies first, beards second. (audience laughing) with that being said gary, you hit the nail onthe head when you alluded to video being the future, and that you knowpeople's attention spans are just fuckingrapidly shrinking these days. - [gary] be careful, be careful. i actually thinkthat that is a misnomer.

- well their attention spans are shrinking when i think it comes toreading content that's boring. like they want to see video, and if you canlock them into the first you know couple secondsof a video like you said, you have a fourminute 18 second video, that's takingsomeone's attention onboard for 258 fucking seconds. that's a long ass time.

so where do yousee this sweet spot? obviously it'splatform dependent, and you're not gonnahave a two minute video on a 15 second instagram or snapchat's different. but when we'retalking just facebook, how do you see youknow your audience? where is the spot thatyou want to have a video before you pull themin and you have those 17,000 leads to beable to follow up with?

- [gary] so i think thething with facebook that people have to understand is you have to create videothat's native for the platform. the reason i wrotejab, jab, jab, right hook was because peoplewere using social networks as distributioninstead of creating for it. so there's a verydifferent vibe and context that you haveto make videos for, as any brand, evenif you're burberry,

you still have tomake snapchat videos in a much moreauthentic, childish, you know kinda street way than you make yourfacebook video, right? so first and foremost,when i think about instagram, snapchat, and facebook videos, i think about the room andthe psychology of the person while they're inthat room with the video. specifically tactically,

if you don't have thefirst three second of your video strategy for facebook, you're an idiot. you have a 100th of a secondto get these people in a feed, those first threeseconds are fucking everything, including the copy,including how you do it. how many people here havewatched #askgaryvee on facebook? just raise your hand.thank you first of all. second of all,you guys all know, i'm always recordingsomething that's like, stop,

like i'm trying tostop your actual feed because i knowthat the speed's there. so my strategy withina facebook environment, the sweet spot is notnecessarily the length, but what the firstthree to four seconds are and what the copy is, because i don't even getyour attention or consideration for it unless i do that, on top of which, the adplanning and the targeting.

like if i'm targetingseriously good looking dude with huge fucking beard that might go to aconference in san diego, i'm gonna get you.- [man] yeah. - got it?- [man] shit, on point. - so the planning, the planningof who i'm trying to get and then thefirst three seconds, that's what mattersthe most on facebook video. - [man] good shit man.- you got it brother.

- i feel like you andi get very different questions when we're up here.(audience laughing) from very different people. - brand, you know. - absolutely has aknife in his beard, go ahead. - [sebastian] no beard, no knife, i'm safe. i'm sebastian,i'm from thefrenchmarketer.com, and my concern is about thebrand stuff that you mentioned. we are reachinghundreds of thousands of people,

and i want to reach millions, and i'm using my personal brand, so i'm connecting withpeople on facebook live and doing all of that. but the quality thatfacebook live allows me to do for instance is way, i would say, it's a lowerrepresentation of the brand than what i would do ifi was doing my usual video. and is that,might that be a problem

for the congruenceof the brand as we go to a bigger audience? - i think human beingsshould be very careful about trying to gotoo luxurious, right? so like if you'retrying to put yourself into a more serious place, or a higher visual quality, you know look,you're talking to a dude who did 1,000episodes of a wine show

where it literallylooked like i was a hostage in afghanistan. like there was no lighting, i didn't use a mic, like there was zero editing. like and so i'malways gonna believe that the content you know, even with drock now, for people inhere that follow me,

they always hear memaking jokes about the lighting and things of that nature. i never want to tellpeople what they should or shouldn't do. i will say this, i think it is dangerous, and i've watchedvery carefully on this for the last 10 years, of people tryingto propel themselves

to a higher quality and status, because they become lessauthentic to the end user. and i think they're leaving a lot ofopportunity on the table, and they're spending alot of time and infrastructure on shit that doesn't matter. facebook live will letyou do the quality you want if you put it in a studio, set it on a tripod, set it up.

i mean there'splenty of like ability for you to make it fancierthan just walking around. but you're leaving alot of content, serendipity, and just compatibleand like acceptance instead of puttingyou on a pedestal. a lot of people wantto monetize that pedestal. that pedestal isa lot more dangerous than i think people realize. - [sebastian] so you think it's better to monetize

like one-on-onefeel of the video rather than--- look i think everybody should roll the way they want to roll, right? like you'redressed sharp as fuck, like i'm only - [sebastian] thank you.- [ryan] he's french, they have to.(audience laughing) - i get it, but like,

only funerals, likethat's a funeral getup for me, that's about it. but, it works for you, and so you need to be you. but i would be very careful, very careful to disrespectthe platform over yourself, unless you'refucking jaguar or tiffanys, like it's awesomethat you are who you are, but i think facebookis more important than you

in that equation, and i think youneed to adjust to it more than theyneed to adjust to you. - thank you.- [gary] you're welcome. hey darlin'. - [hilary] hi gary, i'm hilary. you asked about,or you encouraged us in hopping onemerging platforms, and then alsocreating our own commercials,

tv shows, so i wanted to - [gary] let me just say onething before you go any further on emerging platforms.- go for it. - i love emerging platforms. i'm spending aton of time right now analyzing after school,musical.ly, tons of other things. i encourage, when i go andput my name behind something, like i'm doingright now with snapchat,

i don't consider 150million active monthly users emerging, got it? what i'm good atis talking about today while everybody else is waiting.- [hilary] mhmmm. - right, i've beentalking about you know i don't know how manypeople follow me here, but i've beengetting a kick out of showing my 2013 pointsof view on snapchat to show how long, this isnot a spur of the moment thing.

i'm encouraging people here to go on platformsthat are relevant today instead of waiting twoyears after they're relevant. got it?it's not emerging to me. i haven't even gottenthat loud about periscope and meerkat and facebook live, even though they're very strong. like i wait to. - [hilary] that was gonnabe my question.

- [gary] interesting, go ahead, what is it? - so i wonderedwhat your thoughts were on periscope and itscompetitors as far as the need and strategy in future. - [gary] yeah i mean looki'm very intrigued by it. i love live video. i think ustream back in2009 was a big brand builder for me even more somaybe than youtube and twitter, believe it or not.

i think a lot ofpeople are doing it. i've been stunned by how bad, at least by my,i'm just one person, but like boy there'sa lot of shit content. 'cause live is hard. live is hard, but i think the peoplethat break out in live, whether it's periscopeor facebook live that win. look i wrote ahuge check into meerkat.

you know it's funny, i wrotea $5 million check in my fund into snapchat at a$15.5 billion valuation. so i can do well, but a lot of mybuddies were like, oh you're just pushing snapchatbecause you're an investor. i'm like, i'mnot pushing meerkat where i have way better finances because i'm usingperiscope and facebook live, because my word is more valuable

than any individual investment. so, i do think it'sgonna be facebook live and/or, and/orperiscope that win. 'cause they're gotthe scaled platforms. i think they're veryintriguing platforms. i get a lot of valueout of them, i like it. i do think peopleshould try to do it. but if you're capableand you're enjoying it, i would bet onit because i think

it also as at enough of a scale that you're nottaking a big risk. - [hilary] thank you.- you're welcome. hello. - you're up.- yep, you're up. - yeah, okay, hi gary. - [gary] hi. - so basically, you know you spend a lot of time

evangelizing snapchat.- [gary] yes. - not just herebut at other platforms where i've been seeing you.- [gary] yes. - you have beentalking about snapchat. - [gary] yes. - now my 19-year-oldsister uses a lot of snapchat, but now that she's 21she's stopped using it. - [gary] maybe becauseshe's drunk as fuck. - [ryan] it's acorrelation versus causation

kind of thing, right? - so go ahead, go ahead. - [woman] okay,so my question is that i can just go aheadand open a snapchat account right away, but iwant to understand that, what does snapchat really mean for a business thathas a workplace consistency and serving otherbusinesses and agencies, what would it reallymean for a company like that?

- [gary] so i think for b2bbusiness on snapchat it's, i'm gonna give you an analogy that some of you will get,some of you won't. one of the mostfascinating ad campaigns of the last 30years in my opinion was when espn in thelate 80s and early 90s started to makecommercials about their office and their sportscasters. the reason they did that

was because theyknew that fox and cnn were about launchrival sports networks, and they knew thatanybody could cover michael jordanand ken griffey, jr. that was commoditized. but if they got us tocare about keith olbermann and stuart scottand dan patrick, that that was theircompetitive advantage. i literally am throwingyou for a curveball here,

but this is my actual belief. i believe there'sa company in here that is a b-to-bcompany that could open up a snapchataccount for their company, hand it off tothe most charismatic and fun people in the office, and do theirversion of "the office," which would then be watchedby a small group of people if they start topromote it in other channels

within the b-to-b landscape, and that people liking youguys would lead to business. so, you know a lotof people are like, well you can't do it. you can, now,you'd have to be likable. you'd have to knowhow to make content. you'd have to know how to use all your other channels to get, and by the way, all youneed as a b-to-b company,

you have a b-to-b company? - [woman 2] yeah. - how many currentclients do you have? - well we serveagencies basically and we have a team of13 people based in india. - how many agenciesare buying your product? i mean is it 50, is it 100? i mean, i'm not. - yeah about 50 to 100.- [gary] great.

all you need is another 50 for your business tobe substantially bigger, so you don't need 30,000 views when you're payingconsumer like i am. you need 80 people to just sign up andfollow and pay attention and to think thatstan in accounting's a real fucking hoot. and so i think morepeople that understand

that snapchat is aversion of youtube 2006, but back to thenice french gentleman, a lot easier to produce. once you get it,snapchat's been interesting. twitter, people didn't get, and people never got. like i've watched it. like if you understandhow small twitter is when television, whichis the biggest platform

in the world of attention, has fallen over itselffor the last seven years promoting twitter, fortwitter to be the size it is, speaks to it being broken. snapchat's been veryinteresting for me to watch because peoplereally don't get it the first day or two, but when they get it,they're stuck. my 40 year old brother-in-law,

who is my brother-in-lawso he knows all that stuff, he's living in snapchat now in a world where hewould have never followed the other things. so i would say makingcontent that's compelling. but look, i'mdoing business content. you're more thanwelcome at 10 cents a, 10 seconds at a time, to put out content ofhow to use your product,

best practices, you cango a lot of places with it. you can go the"the office" route, you can go withkinda like a you know a simulcast kindof information play. it just depends on whereyou want to go creatively. but i will tell you, i will tell you this, over the next five years,the platform's gonna matter, there's gonna be alot of attention on it.

- [woman 2] right, thank you. - your sister will be back. - [ryan] when she sobers up. (audience laughter)- we'll bring her back. so with this, i think you know, we'll go on youtube andsnapchat and let's be friends, thank you.- [gary] you're welcome. by the way, as a quick tidbit that i've beentelling a lot of people,

you should go to youtubeand search how to use snapchat. a lot of you like itdoesn't come natively, it's just a differentplatform for a lot of people. like youtube is thesecond biggest search engine in the world, and in my opinionthe best to teach people how to do things becauseof the way most people map to visual and audio. so, if you want a quickhack to be up to speed on this,

by tomorrow morningyou would understand it if you watched 15minutes of content. what's up brother? - hey, my name's billy gene, from billygeneismarketing.com. - [gary] a littlecloser on the mic. - i have a facebook adsagency up the street from here. but gary, i actuallywanted to come up here just to commend you man.

i sat next to you at a barin like a couple years ago at a nick unsworth event, and you were sitting there, and i was there for himand i had no idea who you were. but we sat next to eachother for like 15 minutes, and then youwere the guy speaking, you were thekeynote at the time. i had no idea who you were, but you just were the same dude.

i mean you had so much energy, but you didn'treally have the authority and the brand that you have now. and then i've literallyfollowed you since that day, and dude yourhustle is so inspiring. like the way you put out1,000 episodes of #askgaryvee or whatever it is, it's crazy man to see howmuch it's actually made you and the revenueit's brought you in

and how your agency has grown. but like to see youactually not just talk about it but sit next to youwhen we were in a room full of 100 people, now to 3,000 peopleand then you come up here and you just kill the stage. it's just i justwant to tip my hat to you, and on behalf--- [gary] thank you so much. - of everyone here it'slike dude you're the truth,

so i'll say that.(audience applause) - thank you so much, thank you, brother. how are you going tofollow that up, orange shirt? - [ryan] and nowfor a selfish question, go. - uh yeah, actually, but i do want thatinspires a greater share of vulnerabilityfor me actually, so i actually resentedyou and didn't want to listen to you, because youwere so all about the hustle

and i was actually tryingto get out of the hustling and try to find the answer and into-- - [gary] right, the answer,you know passive income, smoking weed in jamaicawhile shit just comes in. (audience laughter)- exactly, so ... - [ryan] is that nothow it works? - [gary] yeah, just go on instagram they'll tell you,they'll thank you, go ahead. - yeah, anyways,so now i'm actually

really lovingyou and enjoying you and i like your rawtake on human nature, and so your rawtake on human nature makes me actuallydrop all my assumptions and all my paradoxes ofreality and just listen to you and so i'm really curious. with my businessbeing all about breakups and heartbreaksand humans, i'm curious i'm not really i don'tneed a tactical question,

on like how to integratewith snapchat, i don't really give a shit, i justmean what's your take on something sofundamentally human and emotionallyrich and compelling? - [gary] well, let's dowhat i normally do in scenarios like this. this is what i think aboutbusiness and why i consult and why i invest,so it's a really interesting, so first of all top line,

if you're talking aboutbreakups and relationships and things of that nature,you're at the tippy top of emotion which is immediatelyinteresting business, right? like there's a lot to be done. i guess my nextquestion would be instead of doing somethingyou don't give a shit about, which would be a tactic,leveling that up to a strategy i have to understand whatyou're trying to do backwards. i think the biggest mistakefor so many people in this

room is that you don'tknow where your finish line is. and if you don't knowwhere your finish line is, you can't reverse engineerit to make what happens. i know that i want tobuy the new york jets, so three years ago,i sold 30% of vaynermedia when it was doing$14 million in revenue and i knew it woulddo a 100 in two seconds because the personthat wanted to buy it owned the miami dolphins

and i wanted toget into the ecosystem, so i left tens of millionsof dollars on the table, because i knowwhat my finish line is and i've mapped my behavior. and now i'm veryfriendly with 11 owners, if i ever amass the wealth,i'll easily get voted in and so that's how i'm thinking. me as a proxy there,i don't know if you want to buy the new york jetsor things of that nature,

but on a more granular level, at least short term, how do you want to monetize? what are you trying to sell?your coaching advice, a product,a service, what are you doing? - [man 2] yeah a combinationof product, services and soon to be supplements. - [gary] so i think the thingthat you need to really think about is buildingawareness, and i think

awareness comes through content. i just think peoplegrossly underestimate content. and you know it'ssuper ironic, because it's funny that that was your i do think snapchat has a realoppor-- you know, let megive you an example, mike my personaltrainer, 18 months ago, i decided to takecare of my health, i hired a full-timehealth employee,

travels with me,the whole fucking nine. right? he's done really well. he should be fucking paying me. his business has done5x because he just hangs around vayner.(audience laughter) i'm actuallyquite bitter about it, so anyway, so he'sbeen doing facebook and youtube anddoing all this stuff and definitely likeplaying my blueprint.

since january 4th,snapchat has sold more people to hisplatform of $400 a month online healthcoaching than anything he did in facebook or google for two and a half years. right, like seriously? like even that'ssurprising to me, we're talking about seven weeks. it just has that much attention.

i guess health coachingis more of a human thing and it makes sense. i actually weirdlythink it could be ironic and a continuation of our story that the thing that you said i don't care aboutthe tactics on snapchat, i actually thinkif you're capable or somebody in your organization is capable to producecontent in that environment

that there could be a reallygreat gateway drug to that. i also think that ifyou marketed against people whose relationship statuswent from in a relationship to single and ranfacebook ads with the right creative against thatdemo on a daily basis, your fuckingbusiness would explode. - [man 2] that's not atargeting feature yet, but i'm praying for it. - [gary] it's coming.- cool.

- [gary] and sothat targeting feature is literally 40 seconds away. - sweet. - [gary] yeah, so just waitand fucking smoke weed in jamaica until it comes out. - [man 2] thank you.(audience laughter) - [ryan] we can maybedo like one more row, unfortunately clock's getting-- - cool, my man.

- [man 3] hi gary,welcome to san diego man, thanks for comingout, making the trip. - [gary] dude i love, how many people are here from san diego? - dude i fucking love san diego. the jets have won twohuge playoff games here. - [ryan] yousee what he did there? see what he did there, heset you up, you took the bait. - yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, at least it's not orange.

- [gary] go ahead, man. - so one of my brands, we have about a thousand, under athousand orthodontic locations and orthodontists aredifferent than dentists because they dealwith a lot of kids and they have to recirculatepatients and whatnot, so when we found out thatyou were going to be here, in one of our groups, i said hey going to get a chance maybe to ask gary aquestion, what would you ask?

so their question i think wasi could have probably guessed, but i think what's coolabout you dude is the way your goggles work iswhat manifests your actions, it's your viewpoint. and so thequestion that they i'll try to interpret this as best i can is ask gary, go backto when you were helping your dad, now imagineyou couldn't do it for him, but imagine that hewould take your advice,

and imagine hewould do whatever it is that you needed him to do, now imaginehe's an orthodontist,-- - [gary] yep. -and now imagine he's today, this is happening right now, they said ask garyif i was gary's dad and it was anorthodontist and it was today, what would he be doingto help us move the needle

if he was our kid and i'm like alright. - [gary] and these areorthodontists who have offices in local placesall over the country? - [man 3] yeah,we're under a thousand locations right now,but there are-- - and this is thegateway to get people to get moms to bring theirkids into the orthodontist? - you're talking a lot of14-year-old kids with the sort of rite ofpassage thing going on--

- [gary] but i assume themother is making the decision in that businessdecision to which orthodontistthey're going to use. - it's interesting,you can market to both and they can kind of getthem to communicate to children. - [gary] you could and soi think what you do is i don't know thebusiness well enough, but i've had two toy clients, the two biggest toycompanies in the world

and i keep arguing with them. they keep wantingto market to the kids, which only becauseof laws in america, which would also applyto you because of the way advertising to kids works here, that means they canonly run tv commercials on like nickelodeon, right? i've been arguingto them that the mom is much more of a decisionmaker in that household,

if it was my dad andhe was an orthodontist and i was 20 today,i would convince him to move an enormousamount of money to facebook and i would spend itall on 42-year-old mom with kids in a onemile radius of our locations because that feelsthe quickest practical way to more dollars thatin year two would allow me to take 20% andmaybe start playing towards the kids a little bit. right?

after school is areally fascinating platform right now that i'mpaying attention to that is basicallyhigh school facebook. you can only be in high school. you have to prove itwith your high school id. that could be aninteresting platform, but they don't advertise yet, but i would keep an eye onit and wait for them to open because whoever land grabsfirst is going to under pay

so those would become a buti would go all in on facebook. facebook ads againstmillennial moms is fucking gold. - [man 3] big time.- gold. - [man 3] cool and then thegirls just wanted to make sure, you actually are married right? - [gary] yes.- okay, i was correct. - [ryan] are you making,this is about to get real. - married.- she lives around town? - getting real in thewhole foods department here.

thanks gary, appreciate it.- thanks brother. yo! - [man 4] hey dude.- hey dude. - [man 4] so i owna few e-com businesses that sell physicalproducts and i heard you talk briefly aboutaffiliate marketing, no sorry mini influencer marketing on instagram, where they have like600 to 2,000 followers, one of my businesses,i sell jewelry to women.

my idea was tobasically find hot chicks. - [gary] period! - yeah, period. - [gary] but keep going. - and send them a free product and hope that they postit on their instagram page because they'llinfluence their followers, but you said you need 40,000. - [gary] just rememberthat a lot of hot chicks

have a bunch of fuckingcreeper dudes following them. - i know, yeah,you're right, yeah yeah. - [gary] go ahead, and that's aserious point by the way. i'm giving yousomething right away. we do a lot ofinfluencing to females and pretty girls do wellwith converting other women into the funnel, but be careful, because a lot of them don't because it's allscum buckets you know.

- [man 4] got it,you also talked-- - [gary] there's an app calledground signal that you should look at that willgive you scale against the targetingterms that you want and that longtail that you need. otherwise, it will take20 humans a million years. - ground signal okay, yeah, that was theanswer to my question. - [gary] i figured.

- because i wantedto know how to quickly get 40,000 mini influencers. - [gary] grab ground signal.- got it. all right thanks buddy.- you got it, brother. - [ryan] ground signal. - yep. - [ryan] you can findthat on the world wide web. - that's the thing.what's up my man? - hey gary, i wonder,

where is grandma going after snapchat? - [gary] death? so grandma, grandma is facebook. facebook, facebook, facebook. grandma's not eventhinking about snapchat yet. if you're askingme after snapchat, if snapchat's able toget to where i think it could and get to moderngrandma 10 years from now, which is really 49-year-old female now, 59 you know.

i mean we're talking20 years before i would be thinking about what'sgrandma going to after snapchat. grandma right now isreally entrenched in facebook. one of the thingsthat would blow you away, i've startedinvesting in and advising companies that are targeting50 to 90-year-old americans, because facebook isso good for that demo. because the goodthing about grandma is, and it's not even on her phone,

though it is moreand more every day, grandma's going throughthat newsfeed nice and slow. - [man 5]what i was really asking also-- - [ryan] so creepythe way you just said that. - [gary] it's just true.- [ryan] i know, i'm not just. - go ahead. - [man 5] what are two orthree platforms to look for in the next two or three years? - [gary] just in general?

i think i mentioned them, i think the twoemerging platforms that could becomeas big as snapchat, or the next big thing, are musical.ly and after school, so i would look at those two. i think it's gonnabe really fascinating to see if jack dorsey canturn twitter's product around, which would thenstart a five year process

of them reemerging. but i think spendingtime worrying about that is super insignificant. i think there's somuch work to be done on facebook,instagram, emerging snapchat, email marketing,google, content, medium.com, to write long-formcontent to convert. there's so much to be done now. it's kind of, you knowwhat you basically asked me,

hey gary, m*a*s*h or seinfeld'sthe number one show now, and i want to do commercials. what's gonna be thenumber one show in four years? i don't know, andwho gives a fuck, right? let's just runthe best commercials while people arewatching seinfeld, and then we'll worryabout when er comes along. - [man 5] perfect, thank you.- you got it. - [ryan] yeah,two more unfortunately.

i gotta be the bad guy. - really? i thought we had 6:40? okay let's just go. - you want to go to 6:40? - [gary] yeah.what's up my man? - long time listener,first time caller, love you, love your show. - [gary] thank you.

- little radio shoutout. - [gary] that was good. - i've actually changedmy question three times since i've been up here, but i'm gonna go with this one.(audience laughter) i've heard you say, i don't know if itwas a couple years ago or how long it was, but you kinda made a prediction,

and you weretalking about amazon and how you predictedamazon would one day take walmart down. and so i, since this istheoretically a room full of internet marketers, i was wondering whatyour thoughts are there, and what could a roomfull of a lot of information marketers,consultants, lead generators, that are trying toget more towards branding,

learn from amazon whichis doing some amazing things right now and whereare you at with that? - that was justinfrastructure costs. what i think, what iknew was gonna happen is that consumerbehavior was shifting and we were going towardsan on-demand economy. i mean, you know,really the only vulnerability amazon has is whether itwas wish or whether it was uber, like we are gonnademand in a decade

to have every singleproduct we want within the hour, like all of it. and so what i justknew was that walmart had all its costs andinfrastructure in locations, and every day that goes by, more people aregonna buy online. i also knew that peoplewere moving into cities. so if you look at the trends of where peoplewant to live now,

it's more and more city culture. all the cities arereemerging, detroit, it's just everywhere. so and it's still not over yet. it's funny, i took alot of flak for that, it was five years ago, i was pretty emphatic about it. and when walmart closedall their stores the other day, i got a windfall of emails.

and it's still gonna take time. look amazon's gonna open stores. amazon's gonna open stores. so it's not aboutbricks and mortars, it's that whenamazon opens its stores, they're not gonna be fat. they're gonna be efficient. and that's whyinternet companies that open up retailstores are gonna be smart

because they'regonna do pop-ups, they're gonna do lightweight, they're gonnado minimal product. when you've a maturebusiness, you get fat. and you just have moreand more and more overhead. so there's that, and then what was thenext question, what else? - [man 6] i feel like i kinda wasted my question with that one, but,no i was just saying

(audience laughter)- sorry i fucked up. - [man 6] no, no no, not on you. (audience laughing)it was my fault. there's internetmarketers in here that are, a lot of most of us arefolks on direct response, and we're tryingto do this convergence into branding andi've this perfect. - [gary] and do youthink it's commerce too, or, just branding?- no i'm just saying,

amazon is obviously ahuge internet company. - [gary] dude it comes downto what i speiled about for the first 30 minutes. i wasn't talking tactics, i was talking religion. if you're, now that iunderstand your question a little bit better, if you're tryingto make the transition from just quant dryou know to a brand play, you have tochange your behavior.

you know i like to sayif you want to be an anomaly you have to act like one, which means youhave to do different shit than everybody else, right? so you know if you want tobe in the branding business, you have to do branding things. a la, you need to takethe logo of your company and you need toemail tim ferriss and say, can my companysponsor your podcast?

and he's gonna saycool, $8,000 an episode. and you're gonnasay, fuck, right? because you're gonna say, well how do i quantify the math? you don't. it's kind of like forthe people in here building, anybody here have acompany that they run that has 50 or more employees? right, so for thecouple of us in this room,

it's kinda theway i think about hr, and the way i treat my people. most of the thingsi do with my people are very bad business decisions. it's why, from a mathstandpoint, my cfo hates it, my brother hatesit, and my coo hate it. but i like it because i know that if i disproportionatelyovertreat everybody well, that that extratwo months of severance

that they didn't deserve still has brand impact, got it? so if you want to getinto the branding game, you have to stopcounting the beans. you have to start investingin creative and stories and long-term and branding, and so you have tochange your behavior. two years ago i wanted tolose weight and get healthier. i changed my behavior.

i stopped fuckingeating muffins every morning. do you know muffins havemore calories than donuts? that shit is fucked up. i was pissed.i was like the corn muffin? i was like son of a bitch. it's a corn muffin,it should be healthy. - that was a riderdowner right there, if you guysdidn't catch that one. - alright let's do it.

- [man 7] hey gary.- hey brother. - [man 7] if you werebuilding an online physical e-commerce brand, like a wallet brandor a sunglass brand, how would youpractically go about building that content forsnapchat right now if the brand isstarting from scratch? - so let's go more specific soi can really answer this for you and i'm sorry,i can't hear super well.

you have a sunglassand wallet business or? - [man 7] no say like either/or,so if you're building you know like all the... - [gary] if you'reselling a physical product that's in the $15 to$100 range per unit? - yeah. - [gary] is that good or no?- yeah a $100. - [gary] you know look firstof all i would really focus on instagram. instagram iskilling it for stuff like that.

i mean you look atprotein world and shreds and like some of thesecompanies that have gotten from zero, thefucking hover fucking boards and all that shit, likethe amount of wine we sell through there like,you could you know, when you thinkabout wallets or fashion you know, print was a hugemedium for those things, right? page 87 in vogue,things of that nature. i don't thinkanything's changed,

i just think there's newplatforms that took over. i look at instagramas modern day print, i look at instagramas vogue and elle and cosmo all wrapped up into onefor every female 15 to 45 in america, and definitely35 to 45 on the coasts, and 15 to 30 in america. and so i would tell youto really focus on instagram, really focus in influencers,a lot of those influencers are starting tobuild up their snapchats,

but that's a commercial andthat's a little bit different product integration,nothing's new man, it's just that you haveto the palate to understand the kind of videocontent that will fly in a snapchat environment justlike a super bowl commercial feels different than acommercial on local access, it's about the context ofthe content a lot of times. but i would goinstagram hardcore. - [man 7] so if you were tryingto stay ahead of the curve

and build that brandonline, like moving watches, you know all these shopifystores that are crushing it, instagram, but if you wanna stayahead of the curve and go on-- - [gary] instagram, instagram. because instagramis ahead of the curve, instagram mightnot be for everybody who's been payingattention to social media every day for four years,but your competitors, look, i'm veryfriendly with the founders

of warby parker, they'renot crushing instagram yet. i'm the firstinvestor in birchbox, i had dinner withkatia the other night, she's not crushing instagram yet because theyalso have gotten fat, not as fat as fuck as walmart, but they got a littlelove handle shit going on. and so, and so theanswer is instagram. cool, what's up bro?

- [octavio] gary,the wine expert. my name is octaviofrom chile, we have very good quality wine. - you think so. i'm kidding,i'm kidding, i'm kidding. i'm kidding, go ahead. - but very low price dueto our very low branding. except one company, conti turo, they did a strategicalliance with manchester united,

they are in the moon now. now i am starting my agencyand i have wine company, okay, as a client, how doi help them crush it without the strongpersonality of a ceo or a owner as you did with dad? - [gary] so just remember, and i want peopleto understand this, and this is when lore andbranding takes over reality, which is a wholeanother nothing with branding

that can be good orbad depending if you know how to control it. i took my business from$3 to $60 million, went three to 45before wine library tv, so i did not use my personality, i didn't even sayhello to the world until i was 30 years old. so what i did was everythingthat we've talked about for the last hour and a half.

i marketed correctly today. you take up, andthis a world i know well, do you wanna market in the us? - [octavio] in the worldyes, the brand, yes. - but like are wetalking us market branding? - [octavio] yes, yeah. - if you go to instagramand search the hashtag wine, and wine review and allthat and you deploy people reaching out toall the sommeliers

that are now reviewing wine on instagram andyou incentivize them by either givingit to them for free or if they're alittle more fancy $50 or $100 for a review, and you tell themthat if they don't like it, if i'm paying them i'dsay if you don't like it don't review it,you'd prefer they don't say it's a piece of shit, right?

but if you wereto do that at scale back to that younggentleman over there also with ground signal,if you went out and hit, right now i know 1,000 sommeliers across america that are leaving a lotof reviews on instagram, if you've got yourwine to them at scale i think you could starta match that would give you an opportunity because alot of press follow them.

see the other thingthat people don't realize is when you do thingsright the reason $3 to $50 million andthe reason with vaynermedia, when you do thingsright there's momentum against that right. you did instagramright you got 1,000 people, some of the peoplethat follow that sommelier are us normal people and theybuy it and the wine selling, but other people are the press,

and then they'rewriting six good deal wines under $20and they mention yours 'cause they saw itsix times on instagram because you properly daytraded attention, got it? - [octavio] awesome,thank you gary. - you're welcome. one more or two more. - [ryan] let's go two more. - i really just wantedto get in this dude's hat,

i was like it's his fucking hat. - [ryan] is this question rated arrr? - yeah, that's good. so my question is... - wait a minute, youweren't joking that the first one of these were justshit jokes the whole time. - [ryan] yeah,no, they're all like this. - so my question isregarding kind of the emerging platforms for contentrecommendation discovery,

i'm not sure if you'refamiliar with them, like outbrain,taboola, revcontent. - [gary] know it super well, man. - okay awesome, sojust your opinion on those and where you see thosegoing and if we can use those. - [gary] it's justanother marketplace, right? like fucking how long haveyou been jamming in that world? - about three years. - [gary] well then you fuckingknow what three years ago it was

compared to what it is today. right, and so what you needto realize and think about is you know, is itstill exactly work, like it just right, it'sjust when does it flip over and it's not worth it anymore? i mean two, three yearsago i was fucking in love with that shit andlike it really worked, you know 17 fucking boob shots, you know likethat would work right,

like putting hotchicks as a picture even though the headlinewas about like modern medicine and that shit worked,like all those hacks worked in that world,but i think you know is because we ruinedit and put hot chicks over things that havenothing to do with them people stoppedclicking it as much, they still click it,there's certain market places, and so i think mythought on that is

much like deal of the daywith groupon and living social, much like what i livedthrough with e-mail and seo, much like what's gonnahappen with social media, we know it works,but is it arbitraging the way you want it totoday and don't get romantic and let it be your only thing. guys how many people hereright now by show of hands are really happy orfeeling really strong or feeling successful,like business is good,

business is booming, how many? i'm really scaredof those people. because they are the peoplewhen things are going well that's when you're leastlikely to break your shit. the thing that i'm mostproud of is every single day i wake up, i try toput myself out of business. right now i'm atthe prime of my career and i'm trying to putmyself out of business, i'm trying to stress testall my hyperbole on stage today,

does it still work,is it still a good value? so i would sayto you 18 months ago when you were inyour prime in that space that would've been agood time to start taking some of the profits, dollars,and your energy and time and start learning whatwas happening on instagram. got it? it's that game,deploying some of the energies and dollars to what youwould think is emerging next to be therewhen yours goes down.

so i think it'sa viable platform, i just know it's notconverting the way it used to for most of thestuff that i'm looking at. - [man 8] thank you.- you're welcome. - alright, dude youget to be the last one. - [audience ryan] thanks. - i'm so sorryfor everybody else. i know it hurts but youcan bum rush real quick and i'll give quick daps or something.

i got a two hourfucking drive to fucking lax so i'll answer a shit loadon twitter so you can ask there. i promise, go ahead my man. - thanks fortaking the question. ryan here. i do a lot of live streaming andone of the questions i have is first of all as an agency i havean agency here in san diego, how would you recommendincorporating periscope into what we do as an agency.

- [gary] as agateway drug to clients? - yeah.well, both. for the clients for themto leverage the platform, how to charge for it. - [gary] i would say give awayall your best advice for free. - [audience ryan] okay. - and so that is theanti-answer to all agencies. the craziest dirty little secretabout me is i give away all my advice for free shit thati'm using to build $100 million

billable, not passthrough, agency because 99% of fuckers don't do it.- [audience ryan] okay. - that's like thecraziest dirty secret. there's people here that thinkthey want to hold on to their biggest gift or the thing theyknow and the number one thing you do is give it away for freeas leverage because the reality is most people won't do it. everything i just talked aboutmany things people are like ooh, i want that's goodyou're just not gonna do.

- [audience ryan] so you'resaying give away in order to-- - [gary] i mean sit infront of the stream, right? - right. - on periscope andstart giving away good advice. like this week one ofour clients really crushed it because they did this facebookad against this targeting or whatever the fuck you do. - [audience ryan] yeah, no,i'm doing that i guess and that's building my plaftorm.- [gary] yes.

- and building my agency-- - [gary] how longhave you been doing it? - for seven, eight months.- [gary] not long enough. - i, okay. - [gary] you know what i mean?- yeah. i hear ya. what do you thinkthe future is-- - [gary] the other thing, if youwant it to be a gateway drug you should be saving that stream, then posting on your facebook page

and then targeting employeesof companies that you want to hire you.- [audience ryan] okay. - [ryan] but you also wantto do it for clients, right? - [audience ryan] yeah, yeah.that's exactly. - no, no i gave him theright answer which is take that content then take it outof periscope download it, upload it as a facebookdark post and then post it and targeted against employeesof the 40 targets for businesses within a 10 mile radius or100 mile radius or

wherever in the world. there's much more b-to-btransactional opportunities on facebook than people realize ifthey started targeting employees of the company, especiallyif you started things with like, "does know does yourcio know," you know,-- - [audience ryan] yeah. - and then you havethe employees forward it to their cio. - [audience ryan] gotcha.

- practitioners mother fuckers. - thank you, that's awesome. where do you seethe future of google, like livestreaming 360. - [gary] love it. - i'm gonna produce anaction sports day here coming up really soon. - [gary] i'm obsessed with 360.- on periscope. - [gary] i'm an investor in acompany called little str that

you should check out with no a, - [ryan] yeah.- before the r. we've done the aflac, likefacebook and google just made vaynermedia partners because of the great workwe're doing with 360. i'm obsessed with 360. - [ryan] i think it'sdefinitely the future. - [gary] it's huge. - so where doyou see that going?

i see it going... - [gary] i think it's going well. - yeah, okay.(audience laughter) and now google. - [gary] i think people aregonna look to hire people that are doing 360 video. for example, i just dida 360 video that i lost $120,000 in hard costs on because i just wantexamples for the market

that i know is emerging. - [ryan] okay and youtubenow they just announced they're gonna do 360. - they sure did.- [audience ryan] yeah, awesome, alright.- awesome. - [audience ryan] thank you. - alright, i'm gonna sneak onemore in real quick with a beard and then that dude allat the end is really fucking grinding so we may

have to do three morebut i'm going real fast. don't worry about dinner. alright, here we go. - you rock, bro.- [gary] thanks man. - okay, so i don'thave a huge following. my name is keithpersay by the way. i don't have a huge following,i don't have a huge email list, how the fuck do i sell a ton of#askgaryvee books and out-hustle everyone in the#askgaryvee squad?

- [gary] well, i think youshould go door to door-- - [ryan] obviously.- i would go door to door. you know what's funny it's kind similar to the first question this whole thing.- [keith] right. - the only way when you don'thave a lot the only way you win when you're width is lessis your depth is more. like if you literally compelevery human being that you know super well to buymultiple copies of the book, which feels funny to sayout loud and i appreciate it,

you'll do better. you know there's alot of people that have, i have tons of friends whohave hundreds of thousands of followers and have huge reachand they're gonna tweet it and i'm gonna sell four books. it's always depth, man. it's always, always depth. - [keith] always, awesome. - and it's depthin practitionership.

that little rant we just had with that awesome dude it was fun for mecause i really know what the fuck i'm talkingabout 'cause i do it. so it's depth in your skillsand its depth in your approach. it's the only thing. always, forever. it's so fucking zen. i like your beard, too. alright.- [keith] thank you.

- [henry] hey, what's up, gary? this is henry from new jersey. - where in jers?- [henry] long branch. - love it. - [henry] i don'treally have a question, i just want to sharea quick story with you. so about 16 months ago, i almost went out of business. i had a graphic design businessand i made all the wrong

decisions invested in the wrong.- [gary] yep. - and then digital marketerpopped into my life somehow, someway and i just want to takethis opportunity to thank ryan and the whole company to help me get out of my little jam and 16 months later we did1/2 million dollars in sales. - [gary] that's awesome.(audience applause) - [henry] and for gary,

i tag the shit outof you on instagram and i'm surprised you didn'ttell me to go fuck myself yet. (gary laughs)i'll tell you this. i watched this one video. - [gary] you know what? that's a good example 'cause i want to makelearnings for everybody, depth versus width. everybody who tags me oninstagram 'cause they think it's

a pop up in my feed and theni'm gonna look at their shit, like i know what you're doingand so does everybody else that you're doing that to and allyou're doing is actually ruining your brand equityinstead of winning. this is another exampleof depth versus width. cool, you think you're gonnaget all these people to see it. the way, the context of your actions matters justas much as your action. go ahead.

- [henry] so thevideo you you put out, it was a few months ago. it looked likea nike commercial. it was really well done.- [gary] fuckin' drock. - yeah, i give that dude props. but the one thing at the end ofthe video you said which just hit me like a bolt of lightning you said there'sno game over for me. - and that just,i'm gonna get emotional

but that hit me hard, dude. and i think between ryan's camp, click funnels and your hustle and your motivation, ambitiongot me to where i am today so i just wanted to say thanks. - [gary] thank you so much. you know, it's funny, i so desperately push against the motivational, rah-rah part of my life.

like i do it and i'm good atit and i like it but like every time i'm like fuck this,i don't want to do that anymore. let me just keep buildingbusinesses like you hear that shit and it's like crazythat, it's communication. i do as a human but your business andbrand can do it too. it's unbelievable whatcommunication does and when you see like a dude wear a wristbandfrom your wine show in 2008 like that kind of communicationis just so intense.

yeah. - thanks so much, gary. - [gary] dude,those other two people should really thank you. that dude got totell his emotional story, because you werereally not willing to let me off stage. so, i'm impressed with the hustle. - it was a goodtestimonial too, right?

i'm jackson, i'm from australia. just a quick one onsnapchat for everyone. is there a formulaor a conversion rate on how many views you'regetting to what you would pay for a shout out? or some sort of advertisement? - just first of all, i thinkyou're really attractive. (audience laughter and cheers) so, i wasn't, i didn'thear much of what you said.

good looking young dude, right? - [ryan] have youbeen to australia? they all look like that.- [gary] so, wait a minute. you asked is there somesort of data that supports what you should pay-- - hold on, i thinkyou're like the smartest person in the world right now. - [gary] well,thank you, brother! - honestly!

- [gary] should wehook up or? (laughs) (audience laughs) - [ryan] now we're gettingback to the original purpose for snapchat right here!(audience laughs) - [gary] alright so,let me ask you a question, are you asking is there some reallyquantifiable understanding-- - like, like a ballpark-- - [gary] to understandwhat to pay people

for snapchat shout outs?- for example, alright,i'm in financial services. i run like atrading education company. it's a very similarbusiness model to this. and you know for snapchat, what would i pay someone with 30,000 viewsper 10 seconds? - so first of all,are you even in a funnel where theconsideration is 30 and unders

would buy your shit?- [jackson] no. - so, that's what i thought. and so what i would sayis keep paying attention. you know, it'slike running a marathon. get on the treadmill, but iwould highly, highly advise you not to do anysnapchat marketing right now, 'cause thataudience is not there. it's 30-year-olds and under, and it's emerging socialmedia and marketing people

of all ages, that are your first group there. so, they're scattered. but in 12 months, in 24 months,they're gonna be there. and so you wannaknow how to execute. that's number one.number two, yeah. it's gonna be hard, because you'll bedoing endorsement. it's like trying to figure outwhat to pay beyonce.

or what to pay, you know? 'cause you're notgetting math clicks yet. you're just getting awarenessand then conversion. what i would tell you is, this is now for other people, that can take this advice. i would ask an influencer, if you're really paying them, and they're willing to do it.

because they may noteven be willing to do it. i would ask them to do a call-to-action snapto show you how many people screenshoot their call-to-actions as a ratio to how manypeople watch the story. so the reason i'm sobullish on snapchat is when i go in for an askand say screen shoot this and do something. when you've got 25,000people that see something,

and you have 9,000 peoplethat screen shoot something, not click, like that! you're talking aboutreal depth of engagement. so, i think theway you could proxy how much attention isreally happening is that. the other thing isi would just assume the attention's happening, 'cause that's wheresnapchat is in its life cycle. i think the bigger issue is

what's the makeupof their audience? and are they in theconsideration to buy what you're selling? - [jackson] so, whatwould you recommend instead? like periscope, facebook live? - [gary] facebook, man. - facebook? - [gary] facebook. number one? - [gary] yeah. - alright, and would youexpand into facebook live

and periscope as like a nextsort of center of attention? - [gary] well, it dependson who's doing that content and can they siphontheir audience to convert for what yourproduct and service is? - right.- [gary] right? so, if you've got theright personality, absolutely. - what about instagram?- [gary] yep. - hypothetically, speaking?- [gary] yep. i would tell you that there'sso much depth of targeting

on facebook that i wouldfirst try to go deep into that. and you can flirtwith the other stuff, but that's where you gotta go. - [jackson] we're prettydeep into facebook, but instagram,what's like your best tip? i've got about 16,000. and i got like 5%-10%conversion on 16,000. what is the best wayto get through to the-- - [gary] i thinkthe biggest problem with

instagram right now is i'm stunned that the targetingcapabilities aren't perfect like they are on facebook. they own both companies. they're the besttech company in the world. i've been surprisedthat when i target instagram, it's not actuallytargeting that person the way i'd expect it to. so, i would just test and learn.

the problem with your questionsfor me right this second is there's just a couple oflayers of details that i need to understand betterto give you real advice. but i will tell you this, even i spending$100 million a year on ads right now, focused on it 18 fucking hours a day, feel like there's still alot to be done on facebook. so no matter howmuch you're doing,

don't completely say thatwe've got facebook done yet. - [jackson] sweet.thanks so much, gary. - take care man. thank you guys! - [ryan] gary vaynerchuk!big round of applause! - [ryan] thank you, brother! close this out. see you on the the other side. big round of applause, hey!

we're gonna be back here in this room gettingstarted bright and early. show up at eight, if you want a seat - [gary] i got tosay hi to friend. - we're gonna getofficially started at 8:30. thank you allagain we got another content packed day tomorrow. so make sureyou're here, thank you!